Being the Alpha's Mate

Chapter Five - Derek's POV

Chapter Five

--Derek’s POV--

I could feel her sadness, her anguish, and it tore at me. I desperately wanted to turn around and tell her that I’m sorry and hold her close. I could feel each tear she shed and it nearly broke me. Not my wolf though.

“We did nothing wrong!” My wolf snarled at me.

My wolf didn’t like that our mate is crying, but he didn’t like that she was mad at us even more. He wanted to run back there, claim her, show her who is in charge. I know that won’t make her love us. Hell, it won’t make her like us. If I did that she’d hate me.

Instead I run. The grass is soft under my paws, the ground wet from recent rain and the wind blows through my fur, but it does nothing to calm me down. I’m furious. Furious at Emma for not trusting me. Furious at my wolf for wanting to forcibly claim her. Furious at myself for not doing something over the years to make her love me. Maybe if I had done something, anything all those years ago, she would want me now. Maybe if I had sent her roses instead of thongs, chocolates instead of bras, and cards instead of sleepwear, she would want me now.

I shake my head roughly, trying hard to clear the thoughts coursing through my brain. I just want to run. I don’t want to think.

I run for miles. After ten my breath starts to come out in pants, after fifteen I’m gulping in air. At twenty I come to a rest. I shift back to my human form. Sweat glistens on my naked form but I don’t care. Nudity comes with being a shifter. I stand there, collecting my breath. The run did nothing to rearrange my thoughts, but it did calm both me and my wolf down. He doesn’t want to run back and fuck her anymore so I’ve succeeded in something.

I run my hand over my head, short strands of hair running between my fingers. I keep it short out of convenience. Anything longer than cropped to my head gets in my way and is harder to take care of. Shave it once a day and scrub it with a bar of soap is my kind of hair.

Unlike Emma’s. Her hair is long and golden brown and so long it nearly reaches her elbows. It makes me think about it laying across my chest while we’re laying in bed together. It also makes me think of it framing her face as she rides me. I growl and rub my hand over my face. I can’t think those thoughts. I think those thoughts, and I’ll want to do that, I want to do that, and I’ll force her. God, I can’t let myself hurt her. I can never hurt her.

I hate that my wolf has so much control over me. Both my wolf and I are alphas, not unusual for an alpha’s son, but it is unusual for an alpha to be away from his mate for years after he found her. I wanted to claim her then and there when I first discovered that she was my mate. That she was the one. I wanted to sink my teeth into her throat and let all the other males know that she’s mine.

Our parents wouldn’t allow that though, and now I know why. First is the claiming, and next is the mating. An eleven year old girl doesn’t need to be claimed, much less mated. Hell, a thirteen year old boy doesn’t need that. Now I respect their decision, I just wish I could have seen her more over the years. I fucked so many other girls trying to get Emma out of my head but it never worked. When I was sixteen she had just turned fourteen. I tried to imagine what she looked like. I wanted to see her, but our parents wouldn’t allow it after I was sixteen. When a male shifter turns sixteen all they want to do is fuck. I didn’t need to fuck a fourteen year old.

I growl, rubbing my hands over my face. After nearly six years of being away from her, I need to learn how to make her want me. I need to be with her, and not just for sex. I need to be with her because both my wolf and I crave it. Because I want her for her, because she won’t just fall in bed with me and because I know she’ll be a challenge every fucking day I’m with her, and I know, that’s what I need. I need her.