Your Head's Only Medicine

Revive

In a way we are all connected
Threaded together
In a way we are all suspended
Bound going nowhere

"I don't think she's coming anymore." Alex stated as she eyed her unread messages.

"Why not? Is she okay?" Kelley asked. She sat criss-cross on the bed adjacent to Alex's. Her attention half on the television, half on Alex.

"Well, considering that I'm me. Probably not." Alex groaned, the force of it pushing her back into the bedding.

Kelley frowns. She looks at Hope, who's sitting on the hotel chaise reading 'To Kill A Mockingbird'. As if she can sense she's being watched, Hope looks up over her reading glasses.

"Babe, Al needs advice." Kelley whines. Hope rolls her eyes, but she puts her book down noentheless.

"What's the problem?"

"She's bad at girlfriending." Kelley says with a matter of fact lilt.

"Hard to learn how to be a good girlfriend when I can't even seem to be a good person in general."

Hope sighs, "Morgan. You're not a bad person."

"Then why do I keep messing things up?"

Hope observes the turmoil playing across the forward's face.

"You really love her, don't you?"

"Never stopped."

"Then show her. Make time for her. Show her you care. Listen to her."

"And what if I can't? What if it doesn't work?"

"If you love her as much as you say you do, you'll make it work. It's going to take a lot of compromise on both of your parts. And you're going to have to be patient. You broke her heart Alex. The whole reason you're in this mess is because you let her believe you didn't love her and she's going to have to get used to what that looks like coming from you."

Alex's jaw tensed, then untensed. Everyone had been telling her the same thing. And yet, she had never really put it into perspective. She had quickly fallen into old habits that had placed her into this situation three years ago, no wonder Eden felt the way she did.

"Thanks, Hope."

"No problem. Now please don't interrupt me unless one of you are dying."

"Ever the attentive girlfriend." Kelley mumbled sarcastically. Hope just smiled and went back to reading her book.

☆☆☆☆

Hope frowned as the empty seat next to her suddenly harbored an occupant. She had been looking forward to having the extra space. It was crowded and it seemed she wouldn't have to deal with that.

"She didn't think you were coming." She says simply, her eyes still planted on the game in front of her.

"Neither did I."

"Let me guess. Kelley called you with that fake pouty thing she does? Or the complete opposite, she threatened you!" Hope laughed to herself. Kelley was predictable and for some reason the former keeper liked that about her.

"Actually, that conscience I thought I murdered in cold blood won out. It felt like I was punishing her over something that was probably an honest mistake. I think I've been doing that for a while now."

Hope watches the play on the field a bit more before fully turning to face her new companion.

"Eden, don't try to take everything back. If you ask me I think you made a good decision that night. Someone had to be thinking clearly because it clearly wasn't the rest of us. You both needed the time apart for different reasons and I think she's starting to realize that." Hope then turned back to the game, only to watch as the other team scored.

"I'm just scared, I guess."

"She loves you, you love her. Don't be."

"Yeah...don't be." If only it were that easy.

"Anyway, this game sucks so, I'll just continue to talk to you. How have you been, Eden?"

"Good I guess. Feel like I should be asking you that question."

"You don't want to hear about old titanium shoulders. I've been fine, I just follow Kelley around and make sure she doesn't die." Hope shrugs. Coincidentally, it's then that Kelley looks up to where they're sitting and smiles softly. She often thinks that Kelley and Alex share some weird psychic connection because, just as Kelley turns back, Alex looks up and the pensive look on her face transforms instantly.

Eden hopes that no one is currently tracking Alex's line of sight because that would definitely change some things for the both of them. And the Morgan jersey she's wearing probably wouldn't help their case.

"Uh oh, she spotted you. She's going to show off now." Just as Hope says the words, Eden swears Alex winks at her.

"Well at least it will liven up this game a bit."

It does. They end up winning if only because Alex Morgan is extremely cocky.

☆☆☆☆

2016

Alex groaned as her phone rang loudly. Or maybe it wasn't that loud. It was just amplified by her five alarm hangover.

She picked it up. It was only a few inches away from where she had passed out on the floor.

It was working off of six percent of battery and Alex felt like she was too.

"Hello?" Her voice sounded like she'd been chain-smoking 3 packs a day since she was seven and had quit cold turkey the week prior.

"Alex? It's Esau."

Alex's eyes widened. The contents of the previous night were finally starting to come back to her.

That's right. Her girlfriend left her, she got black out drunk, cried on her bestfriend's shoulder, then passed out on her hotel room floor. Now, her...ex-girlfriend's (that hurt) older brother was calling her. Surely to ask for her whereabouts so he could come kill her.

"...Hi?"

"Sorry to wake you. I'm not really sure what time it is there, but I just wanted to check on you. E told me what happened." He sounded concerned, but how could Alex really tell? The first time she met him, he joked with her and she was non the wiser.

"You're going to assassinate me, aren't you?"

He chuckled softly, "And where would that get me? In jail. No thank you."

"Hmm. Okay."

"Look, I just wanted to make sure you were okay, and to let you know Eden landed here not too long ago. She's safe."

For some odd reason, that is comforting for her.

"That's good...thank you for letting me know. Can I talk to her?"

"I'd be a bad older brother if I said yes. Sorry, Alex."

She sighed. She wouldn't have known what to say anyway.

"Thank you for calling, Esau." She hangs up without another word.

Alex looks around her messy hotel room. Semi empty save for Kelley sleeping in the bed like a normal non-heartbroken person.

It's then that Alex decides even after losing that game, she had never truly never known what losing felt like. But now? Now she could write a book on it.

We're survivors in silver skin
Shapeless, we move
Unwinding the wires between
We don't belong here