Worst Impressions

Chapter One

It is a truth universally acknowledged that making an all-girls boarding school co-ed will cause a complete uproar.

This was made clear when I was tackled into the side of my dad's car by my excitable roommate upon my arrival at Netherfield Academy. Winded, I disentangled myself from Lisa's arms and held her wrists while she bounced on her heels. 'Well, thanks for scaring the shit out of me already,' I said. 'Hi, by the way.'

'Beth, you will never guess!' she cried at a pitch only dogs could hear. Overcome by joy and, I assumed, stacks of sugar, Lisa freed herself from my grasp and flung her arms around my neck. The shriek was unholy. My ears were still ringing when she jumped back. Clapping and giggling she announced, 'We're going co-ed!'

'I know,' I said. Any interest I might have had in her declaration had vanished. I turned away to open the car boot and heaved my suitcase from the back. The gravel crunched beneath its weight and I fumbled with the handle. 'I noticed during literally all the assemblies, and from the letters, and from that huge frickin' protest from that weird action group. I also noticed,' I said as I retrieved the duffel bag and slung it over my shoulder, 'that it's happening next year. The year after we leave. Do you remember that part, or did all your hair treatments finally lead to extensive brain damage?'

A mischievous smile passed Lisa's lips. Mischief was her trademark. I wasn't sure that Lisa knew how to be anything but. She was a seventeen-year-old imp who didn't appear to be in danger of maturing soon. In a sing-song voice, she crowed, 'Then I know something that you don't!'

'Is this gonna be some piss-awful gossip?' I asked. 'I'm so not in the mood.'

'The boys are starting this year!'

Another shriek pierced my eardrums, and I winced against the noise. I loved Lisa like a sister, just as I did all my roommates, but there were some things I wouldn't miss when I left for university at the end of the year. This was one of them. It was a miracle she had rendered no one deaf in her presence.

'Great,' I said, mustering no enthusiasm.

It wasn't great.

It was going to be a huge distraction.

Honestly, American schools had that whole thing about girls covering their shoulders in case they distracted boys. No one had thought about what might happen if a small group of boys joined an overwhelmingly female school. Raging hormones aside, the fact that there wouldn't be enough of them to go around would lead to all sorts of fighting and drama that I didn't have the energy for.

Besides, if I'd wanted to be surrounded by boys, then I'd have fought harder to attend a normal public school back home instead of boarding five hours away.

I couldn't think of anything worse than sharing a classroom with burping, farting, nose-picking machines who were more grease than they were human beings.

Lisa made a noise of derision at my lack of enthusiasm. She asked, 'Can't you at least pretend that this is the best thing to happen in the history of forever?'

'Not after a five-hour journey, I can't.'

'But we could get boyfriends!' she exclaimed.

'Or,' I suggested, 'we could not. I don't think they're coming here just to go out with us. I'm fairly sure that they're looking to get an education.'

'You're so boring.'

'And you're so bouncy, but I don't complain at you about it. Now, either let me take my stuff inside, or stay and help me.'

'I would literally rather die than be seen dragging that bargain-basement suitcase.'

Lisa flashed a smile at my dad, who was stepping from the car while she skipped away. She didn't get far before she bumped into another group of girls. Eager to spread the news to anyone willing to hear it, she grabbed their hands and shrieked her excitement for everyone to hear. They received it better than I had and ran off to tell whoever else they could find. I was confident that the news would have reached every corner of the school by the time I reached our room. I didn't understand how Lisa was so hyperactive all the time. If I used up half the energy she did, I'd be burnt out before I got to lunch.

The peace restored, I loaded myself up with as many bags as I could reasonably manage while maintaining the ability to walk. It wasn't an easy feat. Fortunately, my father was on hand. Finished with whatever call from the garage he'd been forced to handle, he took the duffel bag off my shoulder and threw it over his own.

'How about I help you with this one, Elly-Bear?'

I cringed, 'Oh my God, why are you still calling me that?'

'I always call you that.'

'Not in public!'

'Fine, Elisabeth.'

'Beth,' I hissed at him, 'You're such a pain in the -'

'All right, I get it. You're not my baby girl when you're at school. But you'll always be my Elly-Bear when you're at home with me.'

'You use that name one more time, and I'll make it my business to get turned down from every university I applied to. Do you want a daughter without a degree? No. No, I didn't think so.'