The Perfect Girl

3

"In the morning she'll be puffy-eyed, they won't even ask if she cried,"

The hotel was a nice one, not too lavish, but a comfortably neat, with nice staff who had better social skills than me.

We unpacked, then collapsed on the couches in our room, nearly on top of each other because me and both of my brothers had decided to sit together on a couch meant for two people. To be fair, this wasn't really our fault. Besides the couch, there were only two armchairs, both of which had been taken over by my parents.

Abu was already making plans for the day, never able to rest, always needing a goal.

I, however, had no plans on rising from this dangerously comfortable resting place anytime in the near future.

Mostly, I was excited for the next few days. I knew a few of the people here, and most of them I genuinely liked. However, I was also nervous.

There was a girl here, one I had known for years, who I hardly ever talk to anymore. When we were younger, we were like sisters. Our families were close, and I had grown up with her, lived through so much with her. As both of us evolved, we drifted. Still, we told each other everything. And then, her life had sort of blown up, a fact that I had not learned from her. People in her life had pushed her away from me, from my family, and lies began to seed in our relationship. At first, they were white lies, the kind that I forced myself to ignore. But then, they were major lies, and lies about me, told to mutual friends who I was only grateful knew me too well to believe her.

There was never an official friend-break-up. We still talked civilly, just like acquaintances instead of sisters. This was a good thing, I suppose, but it also made me scared, because it proved one of my own weaknesses existence to me.

I was nïave.

I had this stupid tendency to forgive people who did not deserve it. Even after Safa-- the girl-- lied to me and about me, I tried to be friends with her. It took utter, complete heartbreak to finally distance myself from her, and even now, I could not blame her for what had happened, instead I blamed the other people in her life.

I didn't like it.

***

"Hiba!" Ameena attacked me, hugging me as though we were much better friends than we were.

I grinned, hugged her back, "As salaamu alaikum!"

Behind her, a smiling Safiha emerged.

"As salaamu alaikum," I said, voice calmer.

I was a little intimidated, sometimes, by how gorgeous and confident Safiha seemed. I always felt the need to act cooler, somehow, around her.

"Wa alaikum us salaam! How you doing, Hiba?"

"I'm good, alhamdulillah. You?"

"Great, alhamdulillah," she replied, looking distracted.

I was a little injured by her lack of concern for my existence, like there were so many more important things to worry about.

"How do you like the hotel?" Ameena asked.

"It's nice," I said, and looked around, "How long have you guys been here?"

"We came yesterday," again, it was Ameena who answered. There was a pause, then, "Are you coming to the ladies swim tonight?"

"What time is it?" I asked.

"10:30."

"That's kinda late for swimming, isn't it?" I questioned in surprise.

"Yeah, but it's hard to get a time with no guys around so we can take off our hijabs."

"Oh, yeah," I said, "Well, I'll talk to Ami. I think we'll probably come."

"Great!" Ameena smiled, "You guys should come by our room later."

"Yeah, maybe." I said, and smiled back, eyes shifting to Safiha, who still looked absent, "I'll see you later?"

"Yeah! As salaamu alaikum!"

"Wa alaikum us salaam," I replied, and walked off.

I thought about Safiha as I left, feeling bad about her disinterest. I mean, it wasn't uncommon for me to be ignored, my brothers and people like Safiha did it all the time, but it kinda hurt anyway. The thoughts felt childish, that kind of insecurity wrong to have or humiliating to admit to, so I pushed it away the best I could.

And it was then, as I battled with myself, that I saw him.