The Perfect Girl

39

"Wants to be okay,                                                                                                                                                                 But it matters what they say,"

"What are you doing tomorrow?" Khalid asked.

It was pretty late, and we were lying in bed.  I tugged the blanket up to my chin and snuggled into it before replying.

"I've got a pretty free day," I shrugged, "I want to sleep in, maybe go for a jog.  You have work, right?"

"It's Family Day, sweetheart."

"Oh yeah," I nearly facepalmed, "I forgot."

"You forget things quite easily, love." he smirked.

"I do," I admitted, "Which is strange, cause, I mean, I've been memorizing Quran for a long time."

"Yeah, exactly.  How is it that you've memorized 30 juz and can't even remember the date?"

"I just don't care enough, I guess."

I sat up, leaning against the backboard.  My whole body hurt today.  I could feel cramps stabbing at my abdomen and my back felt knotted.  I closed my eyes, exhaling sharply and trying to steady the shaking in my muscles.

Khalid put a hand on my hip, turned me so that I was facing away from him, and began rubbing at my back.

"Why does your back feel like a bottle of snakes?" he asked.

I raised my eyebrows, "How do you know what a bottle of snakes feels like?"

"I'm serious, love.  Why are you so tense?"

"I'm fine," I said and pulled away from his hands.

He rolled his eyes, "Oh my Lord, love."

"What?"

"You're in pain, it's pretty obvious.  I don't know who you think you're fooling."

I clenched my jaw and lay back down.  He sighed, lying down beside me and taking my body into his arms.  

"Are you ready to sleep?" he murmured against my ear.

I shook my head.

"What do you want to do then?"

I shrugged, "A movie or something, I guess."

"Okay," he said, "We might have to sit up to watch TV, sweetheart.  Just letting you know."

I turned to glare at him and said, "Gee thanks, I was unaware."

"It was my pleasure." he smiled.

I let out a sigh, allowed my body to collapse against him.  My head felt sort of fuzzy, but I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep, not with these cramps.  My fingertips trailed along his arm, settling over his hand.

"Are you planning to actually get up?" he asked, "Because if you're not, I'm perfectly comfortable right where we are."

"No," I yawned, "I want to get up."

"Why do you want to stay up?  You seem tired."

"Because I won't be able to sleep."

"Why?"

"Cramps," I answered shortly.

He nodded, pulling me still closer and placing a kiss against my hair.

"I want to dye my hair, like, my whole head," I murmured against his chest.

"What colour?" 

"I don't know, red or something.  Do you think it's a good idea?"

He shrugged, "Do whatever you want, honestly."

"That's helpful," I grumbled.

"What am I supposed to say?"

"Something better."

"Fine," he muttered, "I like your hair the way it is, okay?  With just the ends dyed, I mean."

"See?  You could have just said that."

"I'm not trying to be controlling, alright?  God, what do you want from me, love?"

He looked frustrated and somehow it was indearing. 

I tapped his nose, "Sorry," in a voice like a child's.

He sighed, grasped my hand in his and pressed it to his lips.  

"You're so Goddamn adorable."

I gave a wry laugh.

"That's one thing I'm not," I mumbled.

"Stop that, Hiba." he warned, propping himself up on one arm.

"No, like not in an insecure way," I corrected, half a lie and half a truth, "I'm just not a little kid."

"Doesn't mean you're not cute."

I smiled a little.

I was pretty sure I felt better about myself now.  But then, I'd thought that before and been wrong, and I was scared that this happiness-- like the last time-- was just a phase.  

"How many times," he whispered, tucking my bangs behind my ear, "Do I have to tell you you're beautiful for you to believe it?"

"I don't know." I mumbled under my breath.

But that's the thing, he couldn't make me believe it.

Only I could do that.