The Perfect Girl

19

As salaamu alaikum!

Okay, so I haven't written many author notes for this book, but I wanted to explain a few things.

As this book goes on, you will probably find that Khalid believes the complete opposite of a lot of the things Hiba says about herself. This isn't just because Khalid really likes her. Hiba simply does not see herself the way others do, which is what I'm trying to portray, because I think it is a common thing. We often do not see ourselves at all the way we come off to other people.

Another thing, as the book goes on, you will find that Hiba will make some extremely insecure comments about herself. To her, these thoughts really appear normal, so they will be said nonchalantly. I do not plan on making her have a sudden change and waking up one morning to find that she actually loves herself. I'm trying to make this as realistic as I can, so it will be a slow transition.

One of the main things that I'm trying to talk about in this book is the idea that it is only you and not anyone else that can make you dislike yourself. Neither Hiba's mum, nor brothers, nor father, nor any bullies or Safa is the reason for Hiba's insecurities. Hiba's own mind is the only thing making her hate herself. She has people who love her, and she just can't see how important she is.

Alright, now that I've explained all that, let the chapter begin!

"They tell her she's pretty and look into her eyes, So tell me, tell me, is she pretty when she cries?"

Khalid's POV

The parents left earlier than the kids.

We wanted to go to the haunted house, but in the end we didn't.  The line was too long, and Hiba and I were both quite tired, so we just hung around for a bit and then left.

I was seated next to Shuayb in the front, and Jana, Hiba and Amar were in the back.  Hiba was in the middle, and about thirty minutes into the drive I turned back to ask Jana something and found her asleep.

She was leaning on Amar, head against his chest and his arm around her, and Jana asleep on her shoulder.  She looked... well, she looked kind of adorable.  She had fisted her long sleeves and pulled them up to cover her cheeks, and her hijab was messy.

I'd seen Hiba sleep before, because I'd known her for so long.  When we were younger, our families would go to the Masjid together in Ramadan, and then have suhoor together.  She was always exhausted by this time, and she would fall asleep in between bites. 

Our families were so close that I'd actually seen her in pajamas.  She came down one morning when we were over for breakfast in a nighty with a hoodie over.  I can remember her telling Jana that she'd been up late doing some work, until Fajr time, and now she was completely exhausted.

Seeing her now, though, was a little different, because I was allowed to look at her in the light that I had wanted to for so long.  Like, I didn't have to act like I wasn't attracted to her, or like I didn't find her adorable.

It was a relief.

I turned back to Shuayb, forgetting whatever it was that I had meant to ask Jana.

"So man, how's it going?" Shuayb asked.

"It's been alright, alhamdulillah.  You?"

"Good, alhamdulillah.  How's work?"

"It's fine," I didn't even attempt at enthusiasm, "What about for you?"

"What are your intentions with my sister, bro?" Shuayb asked.

Woah, zero to a hundred real quick, I thought, caught off guard.

"W-What do you mean?"

"What are your intentions with my sister?"

"Well, I-I mean--" I stuttered.

"Dude," Amar jumped in, "Seriously, do you like her?"

"I mean, yes, that's why I'm interested in her--" 

I was hyper aware of the fact that Hiba was in the car with us.  Asleep, granted, but still.

"Why do you like her?" Shuayb asked sharply.

"I-I--"

"She's a pretty girl, I know, but do you really like her?" he interrupted.

"And are you gonna treat her right?" Amar added.

"Are you gonna hurt her?" Shuayb said.

"Y-Yes," I said, flustered, "Yes, yes and no, no way!"

Shuayb patted my shoulder, which made me nervous both because it showed his bulging biceps and also because he was driving with only one hand on the wheel.

"So, what do you like about her?"

"Sh-She--" I had to stop stuttering, "There are a lot of things, it's not that simple."

"Is it her smile, or her eyes, or--"

"No!  I mean, like, yes, but no.  She's, just, I like talking to her, okay?  She's got a good head on her shoulders and she's kind and honest and gentle and loving and she practices her deen."

I looked nervously over at Shuayb, who was smiling.

"That's all you had to say, man," Amar said, all aggression suddenly disappearing from his voice, "Right, Shuayb?"

"Maybe," Shuayb said, begrudgingly, "Look, man, all I'm gonna say is that if you hurt her while I'm alive I swear that you'll regret it, okay?"

"Y-Yeah," I mumbled, relieved.

I heard a laugh from the back.

"Wow, bro, you almost messed up there," Jana said, smiling, "And I thought these two were chill."

"Nobody's chill when a guy's interested in their little sister," Shuayb said defensively.

"Is Hiba awake?" I asked in panic."

"Why?  You worried she'll be unimpressed by your stuttering?" Jana teased.

"Jana.  Is she awake?"

"Lucky for you, she is not."

Thank the Lord.