The Perfect Girl

46

"And slowly she begins to see, She doesn't have to be anyone but she,"

I remember, that night, right before we went over to Khalid's parents' house, putting on a silver bracelet. I remember looking down at my scars, running a finger along the lines. I remember disliking the texture, how firm and smooth it was.

I remember examining my face, tracing the apples of my cheeks, and smiling at my reflection. I remember thinking that, for once, my cheeks didn't look too chubby, and that my nose did not look too big, or my lips too thin.

I remember picking out an olive green shirt-- a colour that I knew suited my skin tone-- and liking the way it fell over my body. I remember hugging myself, allowing myself to hope, for a moment, and then finally exiting the bathroom to join Khalid at the door.

"Ready, love?" he asked.

I nodded, grabbing my purse and a banana and then following him out.

"I think Ami's cooking," Khalid said, in response to the banana in my hand.

"Okay," I said, "I'll put it in the back."

I tossed it onto the backseat.

"Chill, love!" he exclaimed, "Why are you trying to injure the banana?"

I rolled my eyes, "It's fine."

"Sure!" he said dramatically, "It's bruised."

I found myself laughing, sending a quick look at the banana in the back. It was lying, hopeless, on the seat, looking depressed.

"It does look kind of sad," I admitted.

"I'm telling you, you're a banana killer!"

I didn't know where this conversation was going, but I was enjoying getting there.

***

"As salaamu alaikum!" Aunty Lina said, running out of the kitchen to hug first me, then Khalid.

Jana followed suit, and then, later, Uncle Ishaaq.

I was genuinely happy to see them. It felt like it had been a while, and I enjoyed their company. Uncle Ishaaq reminded me of Abu in a lot of ways, while Aunty Lina was just about the exact opposite of Ami.

Where Ami was reserved and organized, Aunty Lina was outgoing and reckless. I could see her personality in Jana, along with most of her facial features. It was remarkable; the resemblance between the two. It often caught me off guard, I'd see Jana smile and she would morph into Aunty Lina right before my eyes.

"Wa alaikum us salaam. How are you, Uncle Ishaaq?" I asked, hugging him.

"I'm good, alhamdulillah, beta. How are you?"

"Alhamdulillah."

Behind me, Khalid stopped talking to Jana and walked up to stand beside me.

"Abu, I wanted to take Hiba to the pond, do you know if they still allow people to feed the ducks?"

"I don't know," he said, considering, "You can take some bread, and if they don't allow you, you can take it home and have it for breakfast."

"Okay, inshallah."

Uncle Ishaaq led us into the living room.

"What pond?" I whispered to Khalid.

"You'll see, love."

I hated his smirk.

"When do you want to go?" I asked.

"After we leave, so just after Maghrib."

"Is that a good time to go to a pond?"

"Not sure," he shrugged, "It's new for me too."

I sighed.

He never planned things.

"So, Hiba, what are you doing for your graduation?" Aunty Lina asked.

"I don't know," I said, "Maybe we'll just go for dinner, inshallah."

"No party?"

"I don't think so."

"Hiba and I have been discussing the Walima," Khalid interjected.

"Oh, really? That's great, mashallah! When are you thinking?"

"Late June," I answered.

"I'll talk to your mum, inshallah, Hiba. Do you want to do it at a banquet hall or outside somewhere?"

I sent a questioning look at Khalid, who shrugged and said, "Up to you, love."

My eyes went wide. The endearment that I had become so used to in private sounded strange when there were observers.

"'Love', huh?" Jana teased.

I glared at Khalid, a silent demand for him to diffuse the situation he had caused. He just smiled at me, seemingly unashamed.

Besharam. (shameless)

"Yes, 'love'," Khalid answered pointlessly.

I wanted to slap him upside the head.

"Aww, how do you feel about that, bhabi?" Jana crooned. (brother's wife)

"I feel like you should never, ever call me bhabi again."

Khalid snorted, and Jana pouted.