The Perfect Girl

16

"She never at home,
All she wants is to be alone,"

There were weeks after that of interaction with Khalid. It became a norm, eventually, and the awkwardness of the conversations fell into something more, something deeper, and I actually began to look forward to being around him.

"As salaamu alaikum, pumpkin," Abu said as I walked into the kitchen.

I smiled at the nickname.

"Wa alaikum us salaam, Abu!"

I hugged him, placed a kiss on his cheek.

"What's for food?" I asked, opening the bread box to find it empty.

"Ask your mum," he said, shrugging.

"What did you have?"

"I had the left over pasta."

"Oh," I looked around for my mum.

She was sitting on the couch on her phone.

"As salaamu alaikum, Ami."

"Wa alaikum us salaam."

"What's for lunch?"

"Aunty Lina's coming over, she's picking up pizza."

"Huh?" Abu exclaimed, "You didn't tell me."

Ami shrugged, "I forgot, sorry."

Abu grumbled under his breath about how Ami cared more about her phone than him. I hid a smile, and rushed upstairs to change. I was still in my pajamas because it was weekend and I was too lazy to get ready as I should have.

I was still fixing my hijab on my head when the bell rang. I weaved the pin through the fabric and looked myself in the mirror.

My nose was too big, and I didn't like it, and my eyes were hooded from a lack of sleep. I'd been up late last night, unable, somehow, to force my mind asleep, just staring into the darkness. I pulled my eyes away from my reflection, abhorrence rising up my throat.

I jogged down the stairs, feeling self conscious at my particularly inadequate appearance.

"As salaamu alaikum, Hiba!" Aunty Lina opened her arms for a hug.

I smiled, murmuring a greeting as I wrapped my arms around her.

I really, genuinely liked Aunty Lina. She was sweet and kind and warm, and I liked how motherly she was. She was like a softer version of my own mother.

I looked around for Jana, and-secretly- Khalid, but found neither of them around.

I spotted my father and Uncle Salem outside, and then a figure that I was sure belonged to Khalid as well, so that explained his absence, but I couldn't find Jana.

"Where's Jana?" I asked.

"She had some work, so she stayed home."

"Oh, okay," I nodded, "She still has exams?"

"Summer courses," Aunty Lina said.

"Poor her," I sympathized.

Aunty Lina nodded, then turned back to Ami to talk about something else as they made their way inside.

"Hiba?" Abu said, opening the door and poking his head in.

"Mhmm?"

"Can you get a paper towel from the garage?"

"Yeah," I said, walking towards the garage door.

It took me a while to get the paper towel because it was on the top shelf in the garage, and I had to jump to finally get a hold of it.

Frustration at the world was bubbling in me by the time I opened the door to go back in. I stubbed my toe against the shoe rack.

"Goddamn shoe rack!" I hissed.

"Hiba?"

I jumped at the deep voice, turned around, embarrassed. There stood Khalid, lips turned up in amusement and eyebrow raised.

Crap.

"Um-I-" I stuttered.

Khalid let out a laugh, said, "I'm looking for the tongs, do you know where they are?"

"L-Left drawer," I muttered.

"Where?" he asked, looking around.

I walked over to the counter, opening the drawer and pulling out the tongs, and handed it to him.

"Thanks," he murmured, eyes soft somehow.

I looked away, "You're welcome."

He was looking at me, and I didn't want him to look at me, because I hated the way I looked and I didn't want him to hate it too and the entire thing made me want to throw up.

I handed him the paper towel, "Can you give this to Abu, please? I'll be out in a minute."

And with that, I rushed upstairs to try and steady myself.