Stuck in rubble with the Enemy - Dabi x Male reader

- SURPRISE! - Said Luck

Luck: [noun]

success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one's own actions.
[verb]  (informal)chance to find or acquire.

-------(Dabi's POV)------

Fuck the universe.

TWACK!

A tree branch I moved earlier slapped me in the face. I groaned, holding my nose from possible bleeding. 

Yeah, yeah. I know. I'm an ass. Give me a break. 

The branch broke. It was too loud. 

I stilled. 

...

Nothing. 

I sighed, exhaling the moist air of the greenhouse.

Luckily, Life chose to be a bit kinder that night; no one noticed my presence.  I wouldn't need to come up with a half-assed excuse to explain a bloodied nose, nor run out of there from the police. Not like there were many people, but you could never be too careful when you held the title of an S-class villain. Still...

This fucking sucks.

Everything was suppose to change when I became a general. And, well, it fucking did! But in the way I least expected it to. 

It became boring.

Yeah, yeah, sure. Villains bowed to my sheer power.
I induced order on a daily basis, simply by showing up and showing off a bit.
And, sure, Pro Heroes started to tremble at my name, knowing my firepower, even with this weak constitution. That was all fire. I was happy! 

Then, someone just had to go and ruin it for me.

Crunch

Another twig. 

I grumbled.

Prime-fucking example; Icy-Fringes. (read: Geten.) Boy, or girl, or both, I don't care. Point is, I can't wait to melt that iceberg into .

I walked deeper into the greenhouse, making sure to avoid all the cameras and night staff. My  brain started wiring my seething thoughts, without my consent.

Why am I still here?

Oh, I knew why. 

Twice.

Ludicrous.

Of course, Twice had to go and blabber about some person, a regular civilian, he met while trying to find a poisonous plant, and of course they were so important that he forgot about the whole job, so I had to do it myself. (Actually, it was Magic Pearls who forced it onto me. Tch, that skink.) 

That's why I'm in this plant-warehouse; because someone kept getting distracted and didn't do their job in the first place. Curse you and all your personas, Jin. Just tell Toga already. Stop beating around the bushes. They hurt. Plus, she'll love it.

I looked around the corner, only to step back, hitting the back of my head on another blasted  tree branch! 

FUCKING—!

Once the pain dulled a bit, I took another look. I was not dreaming.

Twice, the tumbling idiot, had waltzed right  in wearing a janitor costume (mask and all) as if he hadn't just attended a villain meeting, planing to storm a mass-rebellion against the heroes of Tokyo.