nineteen

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EMMA

Birds chirp happily outside my window as warm light trickles through my blinds. Snoring softly beside me, Beau is fast asleep. I trail my fingers through the tousled strands of his dark hair, feeling the prickle of the shaved sides of his head against my palm. His face is bare - I made him remove the smudged eyeliner before bed - and so innocent, a small pout forming on his full lips. He's almost childlike when he sleeps.

Once again, I'm filled with worry. Is he doing okay, really?

Moving gently as to not wake him, I reach for my phone. I had a lunch scheduled with Gemma this afternoon, but knowing Gemma, it's always best to confirm the day of.

It's normally me who has to text Gemma to remind her of plans, but today, there's a message waiting for me already, despite the early hour.

Gemma: still on for lunch?

New message.

Gemma: mind if Connor tags along?

Of course I don't, I smile sleepily for my friend - she seems happy with Connor. Happy enough, at least, for the relationship to last longer than a couple of weeks.

Again, I watch Beau sleeping for a moment before I type out my response.

Me: Beau stopped by for a visit. I might bring him, too.

She can't be mad, not after she asked to bring Connor. I hope this afternoon goes better than last night, is all. I sigh deeply as I cuddle under the covers and open up Instagram.

During college, I pretty much abandoned social media entirely. At first it was too hard to always come across images of Beau - a new girl in every photo. By the time I was "over it," it seemed silly for me to re-download the apps. Yet something about Beau being away on tour again lured me into the web, once more.

I don't bother much with my newsfeed, except to like and comment on Val's newest post from her office in LA, and to react to Kim's story from the night before. Then I find Beau's profile - always at the very top of my search history as it's the only account I really care about - and scroll to the picture he posted of me, with the caption "My girl."

Knowing I shouldn't, I tap on the comment section. Some fans comment their adorations of Beau and his new music, others speculate on whether there's anything between him and Rey, despite the post. Of course, there's the ones who hate me - who always have. I scroll past those ones, well aware of the horrible insults his fans can come up with.

I'm about to put my phone down again when I see Beau's username replying to a fan.

The fan's comment reads: "I'm SO happy you're with Emma again!!! We've been waiting!!!"

Underneath it, Beau's reply makes my lips turn upwards.

beaulewis: Me too.

Content for the time being, I slip out of bed and into the shower to get ready for the day. The idea of Beau joining me brings a rush of blood to my cheeks, but I decide to let him sleep, knowing he needs a good rest after sleeping in hotels, probably sharing his own bed with Zeus.


"Remember the day we met?" Beau picks at the cardboard wrap around his coffee cup, a hint of a smile on his lips. "You didn't like me,"

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