Until the End | A Supernatural~Destiel Fic

Chapter 11

Deafening silence echoed off the walls of the bunker. Dean had finished his work about half an hour ago. He wouldn't have been phased in the slightest, if not for Sam.

The creature was still whimpering and crying as Dean made his way towards the door of the basement when Sam walked in.

Dean was sure Sam was not to return for at least another hour, seeing as he was out job hunting.

But the look on Sam's face made Dean immediately regret what he had done.

As Sam glanced from the creature's nearly lifeless and bloody body back to Dean, his face displayed a look of true horror.

Dean had terrified his little brother.

And it wasn't the kind of terrified as when they were younger and Dean hid behind a door and popped out when Sam came into the room. It was the kind where simply speaking now would be enough to make Sam run dearly for his life, away from the monster that his brother had become...at least that's what his face displayed.

"Sam, I..." Dean said as he reached out his hand to Sam's arm. But Sam quickly tensed and moved backwards, running into the wall behind him.

"S-save it, Dean." That was the last thing he heard Sam say before he ran out of sight.

Dean heard him make his way to his room and slam the door behind him.

Dean followed soon behind after seeing that the basement door was tightly bolted.

"Sam, wait!" He pleaded for his brother to not do what he thought he was going to do.

Sam didn't respond.

Dean was pounding on his door for a good minute and a half before Sam came out, duffle bag in hand.

Dean didn't know what to do. All he knew was that he was terrified of being alone.

"Sam, please." He said, trying to keep from panicking.

"No, Dean. You promised me you wouldn't do something like that again. You-you promised!" Sam was easily on the verge of tears.

"Please, Sammy. Don't do this. We can work it out. I promise, I'll do better. Just, please...don't leave." Dean, too, was near the point of breaking.

"No, Dean. We can't. You were doing so well. It had been, what, five years? Or maybe not...maybe you do this regularly and you don't tell me. I don't know. But what I do know is that I don't feel safe around you." And as he said that, a tear did escape. He didn't want to say all these things to his brother, but Dean left him no choice.

"Dean, you have to tell him I'm here," a voice inside Dean's head said.

"What good will that do? He'd never believe me," Dean said mentally.

"Just tell him I'm here. Trust me," Cas said.

"Sam...wait. There's something I need to tell you." Dean said hesitantly.

"What, Dean?"

"That night we found out Castiel...wasn't Castiel, I...well, I uhm. I sorta found him. The real him. He's in here." He gestured to his head.

He mentally slapped himself and Cas for making him look like an idiot.

"Dean, this isn't healthy. You should really see a shrink. I'll see ya." Sam was nearly at the door when Dean spoke again.

"If Castiel wasn't here, then how come I know something that only you and him would know?" Dean said.

"What, Dean? What could you possibly know that only one other person, besides me, would know? Never mind the fact that this one person is dead."

"He told me that...that-" Dean had to process Castiel's words before he could say them. "He says you blame yourself for everything that's happened to us. Ever since, ever since we were kids. That's not true, right?"

Sam tensed, and just like that, he was elsewhere. No longer with Dean...just floating about, thinking about how he had thought or written It's all my fault. It's all my fault. It's all my fault more times than he cared to count.

Dean saw the look of concern and sorrow on his brother's face.

"Sam..." he said. "Why would you do that to yourself? None of this is your fault."

"Yes it is, Dean!" Sam struggled to hold back tears.

He had spent years bulding this barricade of emotion. If it broke now, all hell would break loose.

And for Sam, his version of hell may be worse than the dreaded place itself.

But, he continued. "Ever since we were kids, Dean. I was the one the demon wanted. I was the...the 'chosen one.' I am the reason Mom died, then Jess, then Dad, then a whole hell load of other amazing people that didn't deserve any bad thing in their lives! And then...then Bobby."

He paused.

"And now, Castiel, for God sakes! It's all my fault! It's all my...fault."

And now Sam did break. He fell to the ground and weeped. He didn't know any other way to handle his grief other than to build it all up until he couldn't take it any longer.

He had never told anyone that before. There is no way anyone could know how he felt about his life, unless they could get inside his head.

Dean made his way hastily over to Sam and picked him up off the ground.

He quickly supported Sam with his own weight and wrapped his arms around him. He hugged his brother as if this was the last time he would ever see him.

They stayed this way, Sam releasing his guilt as Dean rubbed his back soothingly.

He didn't know if it was making a difference, but it was how his mom used to calm him down.

The rememberance of something so long lost made him smile slightly.

As Sam started to calm, he spoke. "C-Castiel. Is he really there?"

Dean pulled away from his brother, keeping a hand on his shoulder. He smiled and nodded.

He chuckled before adding, "Cas says hi."