21 Repentance

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And Allah said: I am with the ones whose hearts are torn.

Hadith Qudsi

Life will make you and break you until you are dust and bones— until the earth embraces your body and absorbs it in

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Life will make you and break you until you are dust and bones— until the earth embraces your body and absorbs it in. But what can a mere human do? None can numb their hearts to the pain; it is a foolhardy organ— treacherous to any logic. But what good is that logic which feeds on one's joy? Without peril, any chase will lose its thrill. The black and white of life go side by side; the nature is in balance. But human emotions never are.

That's what sears him when once more, he's tested to be torn apart, like he has been torn apart before but has barely been able to stitch himself back together— she has been the one to be stitching him back together. His heart isn't ready to be ripped off his chest again. This death he has been dying everyday whilst living without a purpose had started to fade off now, cannot be restarted.

Leyla is his beating heart, his golden life— turning his heart into gold. He cannot live without her anymore. When has a man lived without a heart after all?

If he could've run, he would've. But he still tries to walk as fast as he can with his forearm crutches. The sight he's seeing is of discomfort to him. He doesn't know anything about that man who has approached Leyla besides his name, but he does know he's bad news. That alone is enough to make him rush towards them— towards her.

"No one speaks to me that way," he hears the man, Asfandyar as he remembers him from the diner, say to Leyla as he nears them. He's looming over her with his back towards him.

"I'm not no one," Leyla retorts, pushing the bouquet of red roses to his chest and trying to walk past him.

He's quick to grab her arm and pull her back. "That's why you're special, khwagy."

Something within him explodes in fury. He doesn't know where this rage— this jealousy— is coming from, but he knows this possessiveness he feels over his wife is only natural.

Grabbing hold of the back of his shirt, he jerks Asfandyar away from Leyla. "Let go of her." He glances at his hand holding her arm before paralleling his glare, trying to manage his weight on his good leg.

"And who the hell are you?" Asfandyar demands harshly.

Leyla swallows and subtly shakes her head in a no. He doesn't know why she doesn't want him to answer the question, but he decides to listen to her, having only knowing bits of her story.

So he turns to Asfandyar and grits his teeth. "I said, let go."

"Asfand." Leyla struggles with him. "Release me."

"Release you?" He now looks at Leyla and smiles mockingly. "After I've been searching for you like a madman and found you, you want me to let you go?" He meets Burq's eyes again and scowls. "Never."

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