twenty five

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I look pretty. I am pretty, you thought whilst waiting anxiously for Morgan to show up with Penelope and Emily. Breezy but warm, the night was full of vibrancy and fleur. Fleur, to be in bloom- a flower. Perfect. Your consistent clicking was put to a stop when a brisk, three sounding knock hammered on the door. Looking, you brushed a lone strand of white hair around and behind your ear- a little pointless really as it fell out & across your face again. You didn't mind, it would shield the growing redness spreading like wildfire upon your speckled cheeks.

'Well someone looks gorgeous,' Morgan smiled, resting his body on the door frame, his hand perched on his chin, cupping it in support over your divine beauty.

'Mm,' you laughed in a humble mumble of sorts, 'Thank you,' you smiled, 'Not looking so bad yourself there, are you?' said you, creasing a grin whilst you turned & beckoned him in for a moment.

'I try my best,' he reciprocated your smile, following you. Frantically, you searched for your shawl, that thin, opaque baby blue shawl you desired to compliment your dress. No, that dress. The more you stared at it in the mirror as you passed by, the more you thought of that night, the more you thought of Aaron.

'Hey,' Morgan noticed, snapping you out of it, 'How are you doing?'

'Oh please. Not tonight, Derek; it's Spencer and JJ's wedding, their night. It's not about me' you spoke in pure honesty- you knew these questions would come but when they would be asked was amiss to you. Finding the shawl beneath your quilt cover, you clopped back over to your colleague and took his arm in yours, hugging it tightly. He stared at you for a solid moment.

'Woman,' he started, 'You are something,' he smiled, that pristine white smile of his was brandished.

                       Journeying to David Rossi's was always such a pleasant experience, especially once the houses you could never afford had been passed and his large, gravel driveway was in sight. Morgan's car hitched along the path, leading up to the dimly lit porch where Rossi ran out with open arms, holding a glass of his finest red wine. Garcia had some unruly something-inch heels on her feet and struggled to get up to the senior agent, but with your aid and some giggles, you both made it swiftly into his arms.

'Ahh, beautiful, both so incredibly beautiful!' he complimented with a beam on his face- then continued to grab Derek by the face and praise his looks too. Once inside, a table full of glasses sparkling with red and white wine were available, and choosing white, you stood surveying the garden. God, it was beautiful, how the fairy lights entranced the bushes, the table being neatly laid out with napkins and a white cloth- even the cutlery looked like it was made from stars. 

Everything was perfect; cradling that slim wine glass with it resting on your lip, you heard the low rumble of another engine crawling up the drive. Oh. It was Hotch and... Beth. In all fairness, you did like Beth, but that feeling still wouldn't budge- that's just what annoyed you. Skulking away into a corner and hiding obviously behind a plant, Spencer snuck around you.

'Hiding on my wedding night?'

'Spence- you startled me. I didn't know you were here!' you smiled, quickly hugging him to avoid his question.

'Rossi picked me up before you got here. Why are you all the way over here, Beck?' he furrowed, looking ominously out of the front window.

'Oh, I was just...' you trailed off, searching emptily for an excuse, 'Yeah, I've got nothing- I'm hiding because Hotch is here. That's my honest answer,' you bluntly told him, swigging the last bit of your wine down- prepared for the night to get worse.

'It'll be fine,' he softly assured, smiling at you, even though your mouth was full to the brim with white wine. Gulping it down, you nodded, and Reid walked away, careful to avoid JJ- that was if she had arrived yet. You stood aimlessly, legs crossed over one another and saw Jack who also spotted you and bolted forwards, wrapping his arms around your waist.

'You look so handsome, Mister!' you laughed as Jack unwrapped himself.

'Your dress is really nice,' he stood there smiling, swaying from side to side with his hands clasped together. Just then, you looked up and saw Beth wave at you with a grin on her face- not a grin full of hatred or malice, but of genuine joy. She was so pure, so right for him. Breaking the gaze, Jack bounded away to her and led her to get a drink, when Hotch appeared around the corner; immediately looking away & at the ground, he made his way over.

'You look beautiful,' he gleamed, hands tucked in his suit pockets.

'Don't scrub up so bad yourself, Hotchner,' you giggled, knowing it would make those dimples appear on his face. You rolled your eyes in superficial happiness. Although, you were happy around him, just not as much as you'd like to be- or feel for that matter.

                     Wearing the most stunning, figure fitting, angel-like wedding gown, JJ stood opposite the love of her life- Dr Spencer Reid, who in fact, was smiling so hard with a stare so beloved into his now wife's eyes, you swore his face would stick that way forever. All the same, as long as Spencer could live his life looking into her eyes, you were sure he wouldn't mind if his face were stuck in that position. 

On the words, 'I do,' the couple embraced each other in a tender kiss. Sat on a row with Rossi, Morgan and Penelope- you clapped and cheered; Morgan could wolf whistle and he did so, whilst Hotch was hand in hand with Beth, until he started applauding too. Only smiles filled the open air.

                       On the outdoor dancefloor, there were couples dancing to the soft music that surrounded everyone. Fairy lights snuggled into the dark night and there was laughter, a little tipsiness yet pure euphoria all about. Swapping partners every few minutes, Spencer currently had you in his arms, swaying softly to the low hum of the music, JJ danced with Morgan and Emily had Hotch- Jack and Beth too had each other. On the next change, all the girls gathered together in a huddle and cradled JJ, wishing her all the happiness to come; whilst the men simply stood around lollygagging. Then, the five of you split off, and as you turned, Hotch stood with his hand out to you and Penelope gave you a little nudge into his arms. 

That soft, ebony hair grazed the side of your head as his cheek was pressed gently next to yours. One hand was held highly with pride, and the other tightened on your waist, pulling you a little closer. Swearing you saw him look at you for a moment, you met his eyes just briefly and without words, he seemed to ask if you were alright. Yes, and you knew- oh, how you knew- if you leaned into him, the longing you had for him would burn- scold you- but you just had to inch a little bit closer. Planting itself on his back, your hand supported him, and his head flinched at the motion you made; he smiled with his eyes. Just beyond his & your eyeline, Garcia bit on the arm of her glasses as she saw the pain in the way you danced alongside Aaron Hotchner.

                        Now, the music was a little more upbeat, and some couples had decided to take a stroll around the small pond (you could call it a lake) in David Rossi's back yard. Small walkways lit the path, and yonder, you could just make out Hotch and Beth, arm in arm, laughing quietly. Penelope, Emily & the new bride were still dancing; Rossi had taken Spencer for a walk to advise him on marriage (obviously being the most successful in that area) and you were alone. 

Stood, gazing with yet another glass of wine, eyeing the floating dragonflies and fireflies above lily pads, Aaron was about to walk past you; downing the wine again, in one go, he stopped, letting Beth tarry for a moment.

'Do you want to come back for a drink with us?' he walked closer, tilting his innocent head slightly.

'No, no- I'm fine. Thank you,' you declined, to which he mouthed 'okay' and walked on. Stamping the ground with your heel, you wished you'd agreed, but third wheeling wasn't in your mindset on that night. In that solitary moment, your phone buzzed from the concealed pocket in your dress.

'Hello?'

'Beckett, it's me. Sorry to ring now, but I was wondering. Do you still want the job?'

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