Lost Without You

~20~

My eyes snapped open when I sensed him behind me, his soft lips trailing featherlight kisses down the column of my neck, towards my bare shoulder.

Trying to take a deep breath I shivered, in response to his touch, as I felt his hand trail up my thigh, pausing to examine the lacy hem of my short camisole nightdress, then continuing on its path to my waist slowly, teasingly, moving the silk and lace of my gown higher. The feel of his warm hand touching me through the smooth, cool fabric made my skin break out in gooseflesh and I closed my eyes again, overcome by pleasure, anticipating his next move.

But I couldn't resist not seeing him anymore, I realised, and even as my mind reminded me of the story of Cupid and Psyche, warning me, I had to look at him. I turned around in his arms, forgetting to breathe when my eyes met his.

Vlad's green orbs were looking at me warily through the semi-darkness of the room, brightened by the streetlights reaching us from outside, diluted and weakened by their passage through the curtains of my window. He was really there.

"How do you do this?" He asked softly while my hands fisted around the white linen of his shirt's sleeves, determined to hold him there, next to me, forever.

"Do what?" I whispered, my voice shaking with emotion. I love him so much.

"Call me. Come to me, or make me come over to you." He murmured, pushing a few wayward strands of my hair away from my face and kissing me.

"But I don't do anything." I breathed when his lips abandoned mine for my earlobe, while his hands continued in their quest to push my nightdress higher up, making me melt under his touch.

I let go of his sleeves tentatively, afraid that he would vanish, then moved my trembling fingers to the buttons of his shirt.

"You feel... so real." I whispered when I placed one of my hands on his bare chest, over his erratic heart.

He inhaled deeply as I let my other hand roam over his body softly, teasingly, the same way as his travelled over mine, pushing his clothes out of the way.

"I love you, Samara," he said before we kissed again... and again... Slowly, deeply, gradually banishing all the superfluous words, unasked questions and interfering thoughts, deleting all the boundaries between us, succumbing to our desire for each other.

"I must talk to your nurse once they let me go from here." Vlad murmured later, stroking my hair as I was drifting off to sleep, my head resting on his chest, feeling so content and whole like I felt only when he was next to me. "Maybe you have no idea what you are doing, but I'm sure she knows what's going on... I have never asked her anything. I have always respected her mysterious silence, hoping, waiting for her to explain to me everything in her own time, but now..."

Oh? What does Katerina have to do with us, and our dreams? I mused, but it was too difficult to follow his train of thought, being on the verge of sleep. I was too elated to want to spoil the moment by thinking. Vlad was next to me, I didn't ask for more. Everything will be fine now...

A faint, "I need you Samara, I wish you could come back as soon as I'm free and able to protect you..." muffled by the thick fog of my first dreams was the last thing I heard.

I was startled back to consciousness by the sound of a key turning in a lock, followed by some incomprehensible, whisper-shouted words and faint giggles. It took me a while to realize that the two excited voices belonged to Anne and Mark, who apparently decided to spend the rest of their night in Anne's room, rather than Mark's.

Pulling my quilt higher over my shoulders I curled up around one of my pillows, feeling cold and void. I didn't even have to turn around to confirm that I was alone again, that Vlad had vanished together with the last shards of my shattered dream. At least your visions are back, and more real than ever before, I tried to console myself. You mustn't cry, you two can still be together, if only in your strange, shared dreams.