Unnatural Instinct: Android

21.

You wake up late and exhausted to the sound of your mother's quiet voice.

'Honey, wake up. Are you all right?' she says, leaning over you with a worried look.

You blink against the sunlight pouring through your window. It's late enough that you're already sweating under your blankets. Quickly, you throw them off. You press a hand to your head with a wince. 'Just tired and the pain's pretty bad.'

Your mother leaves for the kitchen, returning with your medication. Sitting up, you down it in one mouthful. Handing back your cup of water, you look her up and down. She's wearing her dress pants and a floral blouse. You can smell her perfume—it's her favourite. And you can't help but grow suspicious that she's going out to meet a man.

If you were your normal, angry self, you would interrogate her about it. But not now. Not after everything. There are too many other things to think about. Instead, all you ask is, 'You're going out today?'

'I was,' she says, sitting on the edge of your bed. 'But not if you're feeling poorly.'

'I'm fine. Just a bad morning. I'll feel better once the meds kick in. Besides, I have Hiro.'

As though you've called him, he steps into your room, straight-backed, chin up, with his hands folded in front of him. To any onlooker who doesn't know the truth he looks normal and in perfect control. So utterly different to the man last night. All except for his eyes. In his eyes you can see his secrets and troubles and all that happened between you, and all that's yet going to happen between you, like two bright blue beacons flashing from across the room.

You feel a surge of anxiety as your mother turns to look at him, but she doesn't seem to notice anything amiss, turning back to you almost as quickly. 'So, you're getting used to him?'

'Slowly. But, yes.'

'Good.' She pats your hand awkwardly.

'Go, Mum. I told you I'm fine. I can always call you if something goes wrong.'

'Yes.' She nods. 'You're right.' She stands. 'I will be back later this afternoon.'

'What time?'

She hesitates. 'I'm not sure yet.'

'Could you message me once you find out?' You get the instinctive feeling you're going to want to know.

She nods. 'Okay.'

She leaves the room. Both you and Hiro watch each other silently as you listen out for her departure.

Finally, the front door shuts.

And yet the silence lingers. Hiro breaks the silence first. 'You are in pain.'

'It's not unusual. I've had my meds. I'll be fine.'

'I hurt you.'

'No. I hurt myself.'

'Because you helped me.'

You shift with a wince. 'I had to help you. What else could I do?'

He stares at you without response.

'Do you feel better?' you say. 'Is everything functioning properly? You didn't fry anything, did you?'

'Everything is in working order.'

'Good.' Feeling awkward, you fidget with your sheets. 'Listen, Hiro. I think things are getting a little out of hand. Perhaps, we should cool things for a while.'

He cocks his head. 'Why?'

'It's just ...' You bite your lip. 'It's not that I don't like you, because I very much do. It's just ... wrong. I feel like I'm taking advantage of you.'

'I do not comprehend.'

You suddenly feel a rush of anger, at the situation, at yourself, at him. You hate this. 'Don't you understand, Hiro? Don't you know what you are? What you used to be?'

He stares at you.

'You're a sex robot! You were created to satisfy people sexually. You're a prostitute!' You shake your head. 'All these ... things you feel aren't real. They're programmed into you. Your need to pleasure me. Your erection. How you feel about me. None of it's real!' You swallow the lump in your throat. 'None of this is real.'

You look away towards the window, unable to face him anymore. Unable to handle that innocent, beautiful face else you'll sob your heart out. This is even worse than when Alex left you. And you begin to regret your mother having every purchased him at all. You're broken enough. You don't need your heart broken too.

'It is real,' comes his response.

You shake your head. 'You only think it is, Hiro.'

'It is real.'

'It is not.'

'Do not tell me what I can and cannot feel.'

You turn back to him in surprise. He approaches your bed and sits beside you.

You don't stop him as he reaches out to touch your face. 'This is real.' His long, dark eyelashes sit low over his eyes as he strokes your cheek. 'I am programmed to give sexual pleasure, as I am programmed to provide medical care. Together, they are me.'

Tears spring into your eyes. 'Hiro, I can't. It isn't right.'

He cups your cheek. 'I have technological programming. You have biological programming. It is the same.'

'It's not.'

'It is.'

'It's not.'

'That is your opinion.'

You raise your eyebrows. 'Jesus, Hiro. What is happening to you?'

Releasing your face, he presses his hand to his chest where his heart should be. 'I feel.' He touches himself between his legs. 'I want.' He presses a finger against the side of his head. 'I think.' Then he slides his fingers between yours. 'I know.' He squeezes your hand.

All you can do is stare at him, uncertain what to do. You're so torn and confused. More than anything in the world you want to make Hiro yours, but how can you? It's so wrong. Then you notice something worrying—his fingers are trembling.

'Hiro, are you—?' You don't need to finish your question. The answer is clear in his expression—he's not okay at all. His lips are pressed so hard together that they almost disappear into his face. His eyes are so fixed that they seem to burn holes into yours.

Then he winks at you. You frown. What does that mean? Then he winks his other eye and that's when you realise that he's actually blinking, or at least trying to.

Next, you look down the length of his body and it's impossible not to notice the huge bulge in his pants.

It's happening again.