I want to live. I want to love. I think I am ready.

going nowhere

D E A N

Half an hour later, Miracle follows him closely as Dean walks into the kitchen, smiling at the smell of bacon filling the room. His brother is already seated at the table, waiting for him. At the sight of Dean and Miracle, Sam smiles before pouring a cup of coffee and placing it by Dean's seat. Then he places a plate of food by his feet and Miracle happily leaps across the floor to devour the food.

«Morning, bro.» Dean follows, reaching for the bacon already before he has gotten his ass on the chair.

«Hey. How you feeling?» Sam asks sipping at his coffee.

«I feel wonderful» he answers his brother, but his face, his eyes, his whole body, tells a different story. And Dean knows Sam sees right through the mask he doesn't even bother to make an effort on.

«Okay... Ehm... Dean, I wanted to ask you something.» Dean can feel his whole body tensing up at the words, knowing that if Sam asks about it he won't be able to handle it. But Sam, luckily knows his brother too well when it comes to how Dean handles these things. Sam learned a long time ago there was no point in forcing Dean to talk about that, but he somehow manages to wrap all of that into something else. «Eileen found a case that she wanted to look into, and I was wondering if it were okay with you if I joined her?»

«Of course, Sammy,» he stares into his coffee, relief clearly passing over Dean's face and he knows that his brother notices. «That would probably be good for the both of you, to get out and away for a while. Just working a good old fashioned hunt, without the whole world being at stake»

«Yeah. Would you be okay though, staying here all alone for a while?»

«Sure. Of course. You don't have to worry about me, Sammy! Go have some fun with your girlfriend.» At that Sam gives him a skeptical and knowing look. Sam knows how Dean handles losing people he loves. It's not pretty. Especially not when he loses him. «Seriously, Sam. I'll be okay.»

«We have also been talking about maybe seeking out some of the hunters we know are alone or has lost people, leaving them alone. You know we talked about maybe bringing some of the lone hunters here. Especially the young ones.» Sam had brought up the idea some time ago. Wanting to gather and establish some kind of hunter community. Dean thought it was a great idea, he just wasn't sure if he wanted to be at the forefront of it all. Not anymore.

«I think that would be nice,» he gives his brother a tired smile, but this time his smile actually reaches his eyes too. «I know you have wanted to organize and help hunters for a long time, and I think you and Eileen will do a great job with 'em.» Sam smiles at that.

«Yeah, I hope so. After you and I talked about hunting and Eileen moving here, I asked her if she would like to move here, since she's already here so often, and she was over the moon with joy. And then we started talking about visiting the other young hunters, inviting them to move here. The bunker is way too big for just the fiv... ehm... three of us.» Although he quickly hides the words, Dean's heart stings as Sam slips up. They were supposed to be five. They were supposed to have Cas here. They were supposed to have Jack here. But in the end, it was just the two brothers and Eileen.

«It will be good to have some more life here.»

«So, if we could get 'em here we could start sharing everything left over from the days of the Men of letters. There is way too much knowledge here for only us to keep. New and future generations of hunters should have a fair chance now that we know that anything can happen, even with Jack as the new God trying to make paradise.» Sam says wistfully as he finishes his breakfast.

«When are you guys leaving?» Dean asks, not wanting to talk about Cas or Jack.

«She's coming over later today with some of her stuff, and then we'll leave first thing in the morning.»