L O C K E D- Finnick Odair

TWENTY-TWO

'°•~Chapter 22~•°'

THE NEXT MORNING, I leave the Capitol for good. I say my farewells to the others and say I'll keep in touch when I know I won't.   I don't even ask them what they plan to do now, I just say goodbye and get on the train alone. I leave without saying anything to Finnick, and I regret that immediately.

The train ride back to District 4 is short. It's the same route I've taken many times to the Capitol, but this time, it's different because I know I won't be coming back. I drink the alcohol I find in the bar car, random expensive liquors that I don't even like the taste of. Even though I'm sad over everything, I find tranquility in knowing that I'm safe now, that Eliza and Emerson are safe, and that wherever Finnick decides to go, he'll be safe too.

I arrived in the late evening that night. I walk to Victor's Village from the train station through the empty town streets of District 4. It's so quiet I can hear the I
ocean waves. There's no peacekeepers either, which is  something I've never witnessed before.

I step up the dull porch steps and turn around to look at Finnick's house. How did we live across the street from each other for so long and ignore one another? If we had just made up long ago, maybe we'd be together now. Maybe we'd been in his house, cooking dinner together and laughing and being happy. Instead, I'm alone, and I don't have my house key.

I end up breaking the front window with my elbow to get inside, and I'm thrilled to find out that the electricity still works. The house is exactly the same as I left it the morning of the reaping; coffee mug on the counter, shoes scattered around the floor. It's dull, but it's better than where I was before.

I go to my room, where the bed is unmade and my clothes lie on the carpet. I open my closet and choose to wear a nightgown I've never worn before; one that belonged to my mother. I look at the tag, and in handwriting, there's a name. "Camellia W."

That's her name. I now remember that my father used to call her Cam. Images of her start to appear, and I begin to remember little things from when I was young. She used to sell clothing at the market along with other little things she had found or stolen. Sometimes, if people traded something she thought I would like, like a doll, for example, she would accept it for me. She also loved baking, especially pies. The house I lived in before the Games always smelled like warm cinnamon.

I take off Lilac's sweater and pants and pull the nightgown over my head. I fall asleep only minutes after I crawl into my bed, the first time I've actually genuinely slept efficiently since I left.

That night, August came to me in my dream. We were on a beach, not one I had been to before in real life but one that was familiar to my dream self. He approached me from the distance, and I immediately knew it was him even though he looked like he did when he was young.

"I have a baby now, Em," he says happily. "Do you know where he is?"

I smile. "I know you do. He's safe with his mother right now."

"Where are your children?" He asks, confused.

"I don't have any," I tell him.

"Yes, you do. Look." He points to the ocean, where two young kids have appeared to be splashing in the waves. "Maybe their not yours yet." I look down to my arms, and there's a baby in them, a boy, I think. He laughs, and his eyes grow smaller as his smile grows bigger. I know I'm dreaming, but I feel everything. I feel the sand underneath my feet and the soft skin of the baby's cheek. And in the moment, I feel happy.

"I wish I could keep him," I say to August. The way the baby looks up at feels unreal. Almost as if I'm dreaming.

"Maybe one day," he shrugs. He puts his hand on my shoulder, and I feel his thumb on my collar bone. "You're going to be okay, Em."