Chapter 46

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When Sebastian had asked Danny what else he wanted to know Danny had a million questions run through his mind. There were so many that it took Danny a moment before he could even consider a couple to choose from. He sat in thoughtful silence in front of Sebastian, running his hands through his hair as he tried to pick something that he really wanted to know as the first thing. Since Danny didn't remember most of the end of the night or how he had wound up at Sebastian's in the first place that, to him, seemed like the best place to start.

"What exactly led to me getting here?" Danny asked as he pointed down as a gesture to Sebastian's house. Sebastian thought about the question for a moment before he looked back up to Danny.

"Well it was kind of a coincidence, I suppose," Sebastian started off, " You had found me sitting by myself at the party and were really drunk, and had started blaming me for something that I had no idea what it was. I offered to give you a ride home because I felt that it wasn't safe for you to stay there in your condition. You accepted my offer and I drove you here to my house. That was pretty much it, nothing had happened at that point."

Danny felt a little calmer knowing that he hadn't come on to Sebastian actually at the party, in front of a bunch of people with cellphone cameras. Danny wasn't ready to come out that way just yet. But now there was the question of what had actually happened between them last night, and not just a summary, Danny wanted to know absolutely everything that they had done together that night.

"So if we didn't have sex the other night, than what exactly did we do?" Danny asked quietly, feeling sheepish and ashamed that he couldn't exactly remember what he had done or how he had behaved towards Sebastian.

"I had told you to go have a shower because you smelled of smoke and alcohol, which is not a good mix for me to be around, and while you were gone I had decided to change into my pajamas," Sebastian explained as he closed his eyes, scrunching up his eyebrows together in concentration. "You had wound up coming back into the room earlier than I had anticipated, and saw me getting changed. You know, thinking back on it now I think that I actually started it because I just couldn't seem to stop staring at you dressed in only a towel. We kissed, and one thing led to another and I kind of wound up jerking you off on my bed, and you fell asleep pretty much right afterwards."

Sebastian was rubbing the back of his head, a bit embarrassed by his own partaking but more proud at the fact that he had actually managed to do that. It made Sebastian feel a bit more empowered, and not like he was unfixable and forever broken. Danny on the other hand was blushing like mad, so ashamed that he had completely gone against something that he knew Sebastian wasn't comfortable with, which was physical contact. He wasn't even sure that Sebastian was even gay so that made that even worse. That was definitely something that Danny needed to ask too.

"Okay, then are-are you...gay?" Danny asked as he stuttered over how he was supposed to phrase a question like that that could potentially come back and bite him if he was wrong. Sebastian raised an eyebrow and tipped his head to the side as he wasn't too sure if Danny was actually being serious. Sebastian had come out as gay a long time ago, and came out at the school publicly back in October. He was just very surprised that Danny didn't hadn't already heard about it.

"Yeah, I actually came out a while ago, but I came out to this school back in October," Sebastian replied as he sat up on one arm so that he was face to face with Danny, to make sure that Danny knew that he was okay with being asked about it. Danny made a silent "Oh" with his mouth as he rocked back onto his tailbone, surprised by this knowledge and sudden weight being lifted off of his shoulders. There was this sense of giddy butterflies in his stomach as Danny let that sink in, let the meaning of it completely sink into his mind for a moment. But then the doubt started to crawl back into Danny's mind, leaving a sick twisting feeling in his stomach.

"Then, where does that leave us? What are we?" Danny asked, looking Sebastian directly in the eyes, just to show him how much this was really troubling him. He wanted an answer but he was also afraid of what kind of answer he might get. Sebastian's expression changed very quickly, as he thought over Danny's very emotionally charged question. Sebastian honestly hadn't really thought about that, he had been too caught up in everything else to really think about what it could mean if they tried to be together.

"I don't know, but it could be very difficult to have really any kind of relationship with me because I don't really like sexual physical contact, or much physical contact of any kind," Sebastian replied hesitantly, it was not that he didn't want to be in a relationship with Danny, it was just that he was afraid that he might scare him off if he got too close.

"Why not?" Danny asked curiously, not really thinking about the weight that that question held in regards to Sebastian. Sebastian blanched, and fumbled around for something to say before just coming up with a lame half-truth that would hopefully keep Danny off his trail. Sebastian hadn't been prepared for Danny to be so upfront about his questions, or maybe, Sebastian thought, he was just being too sensitive to the questions.

"Just some stuff had happened in my past that has made me a bit more...attentive to the presence of other people in not the best of ways," Sebastian replied with the reassuring smile that he could muster, but it still hurt his cheek muscles the longer he strained to keep up that smile.

Danny, who is not usually so attentive to other people's emotions, immediately notices the change in Sebastian's demeanor and knows that something is just not right with this picture. The slight feel of rejection at not being told the whole truth did weigh on him a bit more than it should've, however, Danny was feeling a bit more on the hopeful side as the progress that he had made with Sebastian was more than he had ever hoped for before.

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