Xavier (Sugar Baby 2) ✔️

seventh: assignment

When we fall asleep tonight, just remember that we lay under the same stars.
✨

I was a mess.

My heart was racing in my chest. I felt like someone had reached down my throat and plunged a knife into it. I had never been in any relationship before Gray, but even my grossly limited brain knew what he had meant.

I lay on my stomach on the bed, burying my face into the pillow. I hated crying. Hated how vulnerable it made me. Gray was the last person I wanted to see my crying in the current situation. I shuddered silently, trying to catch my breath even as tears streamed down my cheek, drenching the pillow. He had tried to call me several times, coaxing, knocking on the door. But I wasn't going to let him in. He had seen me way too naked in more ways than physical. Way too bare. Way too vulnerable.

"Baby," he called. His tender voice almost made me want to give up. His words however rang in my head, painfully clear. "Xav, talk to me love. Please. Don't shut me out like this."

I stayed quiet. I was weak. Powerless against him. And I detested it. There was another soft knock and his gentle voice called again. "Xaby...let's talk this out, love."

I made my way to the washroom, washing my face. My eyes looked heavy, wary, bloodshot. I tried to fix myself as much as I could, leaning over the sink as I sniffled pathetically. What had he done to me? Why was I so pathetic? So clingy? So damn weak? I had watched my cruel father being pulled, dragged away by the police. I had watched my gullible mother waste away to intoxicants. I'd seen the world at its worst. Cheated. Stolen. Manipulated. Bested the rich and the powerful.

Why did Grayson break me like this? How did he? How could he hold such power over my fragile heart? Each of his words, each of his actions had the ability to rip my heart, shatter it and mend it all over again.

I trembled, shutting my eyes as he called me lovingly again. He was patient again, his little outburst was over.

"Xaby," he sighed softly. "Come here, love."

I managed to pull myself to the door and unlocked it. He sighed softly, his eyes relieved when he looked at me. "Can I come in?"

I was quiet. Of course he could. He could do any fucking thing he wanted and I would still love him like a madman.

I stepped back and let him enter. He walked over to the bed and sat on it, gazing at me. I stood straight, not moving. He stretched out a hand, talking softly. "Come here, baby."

And of course I did.

Entranced, I walked over to him. Our fingers intertwined as he pulled me towards him, leaning back against the head rest so I was on his lap. He rested his chin on the top of my head, cradling me securely. "Tell me what is bothering you about my plan."

I was quiet. I shut my eyes against him. I was afraid the intensity of my love for him might scare him. But I couldn't lose him. It was unfathomable.

"If we...live so far apart..." I shuddered at the thought. "I...I'll miss you." I clutched his shirt. "I just... I can't...Gray...I'm..."

I sucked in a breath, unable to go on. His hold around me tightened. When he spoke his voice was gentle. Understanding. "I'll miss you too," He stroked my back gently, "But I know our love is stronger than one fifty kilometres."