Xavier (Sugar Baby 2) ✔️

twenty-sixth: lifeboat

Everything ached.

I shut my eyes, trying to stop from trembling. A million times I reached for my phone, my throat closing up when I remembered how I had left things between us.

Gray.

I had never needed him worse.

The thought of him almost broke me down again, too much for my exhausted heart. I knew if he was there he would fix me. Hold me. Love me. I knew everything would be alright. But I had lost him, and every breath was agonizing.

I tried to patch myself up as best as I could, but my weary body hadn't done a very thorough job. I wasn't sure it was even prudent to return to my dorm, but there was nowhere else I could go. Hours past as I tried to sleep, but my exhaustion and pain was far too great. My eyelids burnt as did my heart. I felt lost. Terrified. Alone.

Something inside me told me that in spite of everything if I told Gray what had happened, he would return. But I wanted to be the sole reason for his return, not some crazed psychopath involved in shady business and trying to kill me.

There was a knock on the door and I shut my eyes tighter. I couldn't get myself to stand. I didn't even know who it could be. I glanced at the time and saw that it was two in the morning. The knock was repeated and I got to my feet. I had to be on my guard. I called in a croaky voice. "Who is it?"

"Xavier?"

My heart burnt into ashes. My entire body stood paralyzed. 

Gray.

I hurried towards the door, my body ache increasing with every step. What was left of my heart hammered in my chest. Was I dreaming? Maybe I had died already. I opened the door, my world crashing when I gazed into the familiar emerald. His face was half covered in the shadow. He looked somehow even more handsome than I remembered him. My vision tunnelled and I gripped the door hard to keep from swaying on the spot.

His eyes widened when he saw me. "Xav? What the fuck?" I stepped back to let him in. His hand grabbed my chin as he studied my face intently. I shut my eyes at his touch. Everything would be alright. I knew it would. 

He stroked his thumb on my jaw and I winced slightly. "Xav? What...what happened?"

I bit my lip to keep it from trembling. His touch was breaking me. His voice. His familiar scent. His warmth. How could he no longer belong to me? My throat choked up, my lungs constricted. Now that he was nearer, it was somehow harder to bear the agony.

"Er...I lost your gun. I'm sorry."

He was quiet, his eyes swimming with concern. "Xavier...you're hurt. You're bleeding. Who did this to you?"

I gazed at him, my heart mending. He had come back to me. I didn't know if he was going to stay. But everything that had happened to me over the last few days crashed over me with the force of an avalanche. I was buried. I was terrified he would push me away. 

I took a deep breath, my throat tight as I moved closer to him and buried my face in his chest. He froze for a second and I put my arms around his neck and whispered his name softly. Begging. Praying. Pleading for him. 

"Gray...Grason..."

For a long time, he didn't move, and then, my heart was impaled when his arms enclosed around my broken body and he hugged me close.

 I bit my lip, ashamed of the tears that suddenly arose. He stroked my back gently. The familiarity unhinged my senses. His scent. His chest, rising and falling gently. His arms holding me so protectively. His hands, stroking my back. His hands that had never hurt me. I could feel his beautiful heart beating under his chest.