Baby steps ∽『boy ✮ boy -EDITED

Fifteenth-1 👣

   I am sorry, everyone. I don't know how or why I skipped this chapter. I might have published chapter 16th over it, I am not sure. Please forgive me for this mistake :/

  I felt my teeth rattle in my mouth, the cold numbing my nose and cheekbones. The car was still dead as well as our phones, mine not having signal and Ryder's being uncharged. We were dressed in a couple of sweaters and pants, making use of every cloth we had in our luggage and we were both sitting in the back of the car, trying to warm each other up. The only blanket was the one of snow laying over the car.

        I kept on rubbing my palms up and down my arms, looking at Ryder’s back as he laid his head against the driver’s seat, his body shaking uncontrollably. He kept his legs crossed Turkish style over the chair, stuffing them underneath a large sweater. However, not even this could stop his trembles so I took my jacket off and placed it over his shoulders.

     “What do you think you are doing, Carter? You need this jacket as much as me.”

      “You are shaking worse. Keep it.”

      “I am your assistant; I should take care of you.”

      “And how will you do that if you are dead?” I rose a brow, smirking when Ryder gave up on arguing and just laid on his back, making our shoulders touch ad he lifted his hands to his mouth and started blowing warm air on them. 
 
    “I will give you the jacket back after a few minutes. We can switch using it.” He said, steam breaking past his lips.
 
   I nodded, but sneaked my hand over his shoulders and held him tightly against my chest when he tried to take the jacket off five minutes later.  
 
    “What are you doing?”
 
     “Warming us like penguins.” I responded with a shrug of my shoulders, crossing my hands tighter over Ryder’s body when he started to squirm into my hold.

     “Stop struggling and let me use you as a body heater.” I nagged and then sighed in contentment as Ryder went limp in my arms.
 
    “Only for a few minutes. Afterwards, we switch.” He insisted and I nodded only to ease his worry. I was oddly comfortable snuggling him into my arms like this. I won’t let him go too soon. Saying this I cradled Ryder’s body at my chest, pressing my chin over his head as he laid it on my shoulder. Our position was oddly intimate but he didn’t seem to mind. Nor was I.
 
     "This reminds me of the time we were friends. You’d lay your head on my lap as I ate my lunches or I would lay mine on your shoulder while you studied. We used to be so close.”
 
   “Until I ruined our friendship.” Ryder said, looking down where his fingers fiddled with each other onto his lap nervously. 

      “I could have tried to fight for us too, but I didn’t. Instead, I pushed you away then turned all of our friends against you and started bullying you.”
 
     “They were never my friends in the first place. You have always been my only friend.”
 
     My heart fell along with the silence. It was true. I’ve always felt so lucky for being Ryder’s closest friend then threw all those years of knowing each other out the window. I knew what kind of people Ryder’s parents were. I was also suspicious they were the reason Ryder said those things to me. I could have tried to talk him out of those ill beliefs but I was a coward and gave up on him. I turned my back on him. Did he turn his back on me too or he just stood there watching me walk away?

      I kneaded my lower lip between my teeth, barely finding my voice to talk again.

       “Despite everything what happen, why did you never out me?”
 
     “It wasn’t my secret to tell others.” Ryder responded with a shrug.
 
    “Still, you could have done it after I’ve treated you so vengefully.”
 
      “But I didn’t.”

       “No, you didn’t.”
 
      Ryder was the one to talk next.
 
    “I’ve regretted what I’ve told you right after I said it, Carter. I never tried to fix things between us because I was scared you wouldn’t forgive me. I didn’t want to hurt you again so I thought it would be better to keep my distance.”

     “Let’s agree we both have a little fault in what happened. You for saying something you didn’t mean and me for being a revengeful prick.  How about we start things again from the start?”

     After Ryder agreed with my proposal, I pushed him away then stretched my arm in an inviting manner as if telling him to grab it.

      “Hi, my name is Carter and I’m gay.”
 
     “Hi, I’m Ryder and I am a moron.” We both chuckled and shook hands then Ryder fell back in my embrace.
 
      “Dang, here goes my chance to find out whether you were a closeted gay all this time.”
 
       Ryder chuckled and shook his head against my shoulder, “I actually don’t care about genders. I fall in love with whomever I do. It’s the person I care about, not their genitals.”
 
        “I could never. I love dick too much.”
 
        Ryder laughed and I didn’t know if my heart skipped a beat because I could see him so carefree and happy -despite freezing to death- or because of the knowledge he wasn’t entirely straight. I couldn’t fret too much on it though because a loud honk rang in the distance and soon two bulky men were removing the snow from our car.
                                                                                                                         ❀
    “Ohh, we are going to that town too. People might’ve not adventured on the road because of the weather warning so this could be why you’ve been stuck on this snow all this time. We thought the car might’ve been deserted so if it weren’t for Liva, we wouldn’t have stopped either.” Kyle said from behind the steering wheel, smirking at his brother, Mason, who turned to look at Liva endearingly. 
 
    Kyle and Mason were two businessmen from our hometown and Liva was Mason’s partner. Neither I nor Ryder knew any of these people but they were willing to help us and they seemed genuinely nice so if we were kidnapped, we’d at least be killed by a bunch of handsome, posh looking people. 

       “You wouldn’t let a stray cat out in the rain, Kyle, stop playing the tough guy.” Liva mumbled under her mouth, hitting Kyle’s shoulder when he turned to glare at her instead of paying attention to the road. The energy between the two seemed similar to the one between Liva and Mason and by the way the three looked at each other I couldn’t tell if they were in a poly relationship or just had a very good friendship or uhm...sibling-ship.      
 
    I broke out of my thoughts when Liva turned to look at me and asked, “So, are you two brothers? Siblings? Friends? Very very good friends?”
 
    Mason choked at the last question and then spun around to stare weirdly at Liva. The girl just shrugged her shoulders and stuck her bottom lip out as if to seem more innocent. I had a vague idea of what she was implying.

      “We are just friends.” I said. Ryder was simply looking out the window but that was mostly because he wasn’t very good with people, not because he was ignoring us. 
 
    “Oh, cool! Kyle and I have also been friends before I met his brother and we started dating.”
 
    I nodded and started to chatter more with Liva, finding out she has been Kyle’s classmate before she became his assistant and afterwards Mason’s fiancé. The way the two men looked fondly at her and then suggestively at each other made me think there was really something between all of them. Poly marriage was not legal in our country and people were pretty judgemental so I understood why they’d keep their relationship secret. They might not even be polysexual and I had no right to mix in their business though.
 
    The rest of the ride consisted of Liva telling stories and messing with the radio and in the end Ryder succeeded to warm up to the guys as well, joining me and Mason in a discussion about football while Kyle and Liva chatted in an intimate silence. 
 
    However, when we finally reached my house this calming ambiance crumbled in pieces as my two, raging fathers came out to greet us.