criminal minds imagines

welcome home (Matt Simmons)

Summary: reader planned a nice evening for you and Matt after his first case with the BAU, but when everything seems to go wrong, reader has anxiety, and Matt is there to comfort her

Word count: 1.1k

WARNINGS: reader with anxiety, self-deprecating thoughts/words

Genre: angst +fluff (hurt to comfort)

Having Matt Simmons as your boyfriend was amazing, don't get me wrong. But having him be overseas half the time was a struggle. That's why you were so excited for him to join the BAU. It was now Matt's first case with the whole team, and you were so excited for him. After a few phone calls throughout the case, they finished, and put another bad guy away, you now could finally have Matt all to yourself.

When you heard him say the words that he was coming home, you knew it was an occasion to celebrate, no matter how small it may be. So you decided to make a nice meal, Matt's favorite, put on a nice outfit, and make your boy happy.

After getting everything ready, you sat on the couch, scrolling on your phone, waiting for Matt to get home.

When you heard the jingle of Matt's keys, you felt like a dog when its owner comes home. You were so elated for him to be home.

"Y/n! I'm-" Matt called out, but before he could finish, you pulled him into a bone-crushing hug, which he happily returned.

"I missed you" you mumbled into Matt's shoulder.

"I missed you too baby"

"Oh! I have everything planned! Go sit at the table. I'm gonna go get our dinner that I cooked!" you said excitingly.

"Ok, ok." Matt said, backing up to sit at the table, "I can't wait to eat what you made."

"Tell me about the case while I get this ready"

As Matt was telling you about the case (leaving the bloody details out), you were plating the dish you made into two plates, and pour the two of you drinks.

On second thought, caring all of that at once was a horrible idea, but before you could think any different, it was too late, and the dinner you made, plus the drinks were going flying in the air.

With the food in mid-air, you cursed yourself for being so careless and clumsy. As you heard the plates and glasses shatter, you felt some wall inside you shatter as well. You felt a plethora of ugly emotions. Ones you tried so hard to keep at bay. The panic, and the anxiety. The worrying, and that unsettling feeling in your gut. Thoughts intruded your brain, subconsciously persuading you to believe certain things. Saying, "this is all my fault" and "I ruined everything".

Feeling an overwhelming urge to fix everything yourself, you kneeled down onto the ground attempting to pick the shards of glass out of the food, inevitably cutting yourself.

Now bleeding, tears streaming down your face, you began muttering to yourself, "No, no, no. I messed everything up, this is all my fault I ruined everything"

You had almost forgotten Matt was there, until he grabbed both of your hands to stop you from cutting yourself again, and pulled you closer to him. "Hey baby, it's ok, you're ok. Let's get away from the glass alright?"

You nodded at him, and he led you over to the couch, where he loosely draped a blanket over you and held you in his arms, whispering calming, loving things in your ear.

"I'm gonna go get a first aid kit for your hands, ok love?" Matt said softly.

"Wait! Don't leave me!" you called out before Matt could leave.

"Ok, I'm not going anywhere," he murmured into your hair, as he kissed the top of your head.

A few minutes later, once Matt could sense that you were a bit calmer, he asked you, "Hey, how about you come with me to get the first aid kit?"

"Yeah ok," you said weakly.

+++

Once you had your hands all bandaged up, you sat on the couch with Matt, watch your favorite TV show, your head on his shoulder.

"You know, we need to talk about what happened," Matt said to you.

"I don't really know what happened," you told him, lying through your teeth.

Matt ran his hands through your hair to console you. "Babe, I'm a profiler now. I can tell your lying. What happened?"

"I don't know, I just- was scared I guess."

"For me?"

"Yeah, I guess. Like I know in my mind that what you're doing now isn't that much different than the IRT, but it's just new, you know? And, then you were talking about the case, and then I dropped the food... and it was all just so overwhelming and stuff. I don't really understand it all. I just- I just- wanted everything to be amazing for you when you got back. I was excited for you. I cooked dinner and everything, but I- messed everything up."

"You did not mess everything up Y/n. The only thing I needed when I got back, was you, and I got that didn't I? You are my light. I don't need a perfect night, or some fancy homemade diner, I just need you. You did amazing. And It's ok that you were scared. It's normal, with my job. But you'll get through it. You always do. You're my strong warrior. In some ways, you're way stronger than I am. You've always been so supportive of me. Through everything, and that couldn't have been easy. So, it's ok to have times where you break down a little. It happens to everyone."

"I love you," you said, kissing Matt on the lips,

"I love you too" you heard him say back, before you both heard your stomach in all its greatness, start to growl.

Matt let out a laugh. "Why don't we go get some take out so we can take care of that little belly of yours's huh?", he said while reaching out his arms to tickle you in the stomach.

"Aghhhhh! How old are you? Five? Tickling me?" you screeched out while scrambling to get away from him.

"I'm gonna get you for that!" he said in a fake, dramatic scary voice.

Matt continued to tickle you because it made you laugh. A laugh that was desperately needed at the time.

After the raging tickle war was over, Matt went on his phone to order you both some food.

You grabbed your blanket and wrapped it around you like a cocoon. You continued to walk over to the kitchen table, and take a seat down, to get ready for when the food arrived.

Sitting at the table, your eyes drifted to what was right next to you, on the floor. The mess you had previously made. You turned to face Matt, and said to him, "You are so gonna be the one to clean that up".