criminal minds imagines

dear spencer (Spencer Reid)

Summary: You find out Spencer had been cheating on you, you write him a letter goodbye.

Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader

WARNINGS: suicide, self-harm, language, cheating

Category: ANGST

Word count: 1.8k

When you woke up in the morning, you smiled when you saw your boyfriend, Spencer, in the bed next to you. Seeing as the two of you both worked at the BAU, having a day off was rare. That's why it was so strange when Spencer left the house to do "errands". You were suspicious, rightfully so.

You knew the signs of lying. You were a profiler. You saw how he avoided eye contact when saying "I love you", and how fidgety he was when saying he was going over to JJ's.

Every fiber in your body was telling you to say something, but you didn't.

+++

It was a paperwork day at work, and you were clicking your pen, procrastinating starting the work load, when you saw something. You saw Spencer, texting on his phone.

Dr. Spencer Reid was a technophobe. He never texted anyone, let alone you. So you knew something was up when you saw that.

You, again, felt the urge to say something. But you were so happy with the way things were, why would you want them to change?

+++

About two weeks had passed since that happened, and the team had been on a case, a local one. We were all at the MPD station, working on the case. All of a sudden, Morgan burst out laughing, saying "Ohhhhh pretty boy's gettin' some? You and Y/n got it on last night then?."

"Ummm what?" Spencer replied, looking quite shocked and panicked.

"You got a hickey there Boy Wonder"

Spencer blushed, and then quickly covered it up and said, "Shut up".

You sat there and said nothing, fully knowing that that hickey was not from you.

+++

One day, about three weeks later, you get a call from Derek, asking if you wanted to go out for lunch.

You accepted the offer, but when you arrived there, you could tell that something was very wrong.

"Hey baby girl. Why don't you sit down so we can talk." Derek told you gently.

"Ok", was all you could say.

"Before I start, I just want you to know that I will always be there for you ok?" He waited till you nodded to resume, "Umm ok so, a couple days ago Spencer came into my office, and he confessed to me what he had done. He told me how he had... been... umm cheating on you. He told me how he met this girl at the coffee shop, and had been sleeping with her for a few months now. He begged me not to tell you and I said I wouldn't but I couldn't not tell you. I just want you to know that I am one hundred percent on your side, and I am so mad at him. I umm stopped talking to him after that..."

You had stopped listening after the words "cheating on you". Your world turned blue, and cold, and you needed to get out.

"I have to go," you said to Derek as you ran out of the restaurant, back to your house.

+++

As you opened the front door, you threw your bag on the floor, not caring about the well-being of it. You were sobbing, so many tears were effortlessly flying out of your eyes. You were hyperventilating by the time you got to the staircase. You crawled up the stairs, and went into the bathroom. You twisted the lock closed, just in case anyone tried to get in, then collapsed onto the floor.