Chasing Amy (Daryl Dixon/The Walking Dead)

Chapter 32 - Apology

Reluctantly, I gave one last sad nod to Daryl before turning back towards Lori.

I knew what was going to happen now. This was the part where they'd pack up the cars and leave me with the three dead men in the hallway. It was to be expected, and it was what I'd have done in their situation.

Just twenty minutes ago I had my hands wrapped around Rick's neck.

Lori looked paler than usual, and the scorn in her eyes as I slowly walked my way towards her, my shoulders slumped, was actually very frightening.

Once I reached her, the older woman turned back to the doorway and made her way back inside, expecting me to follow. I almost cringed when I saw that damned closet, where Glenn and Maggie sat against a wall, their legs stretched out in front of them. I had to look away out of pure embarrassment, instead preferring to watch the back of Lori's somehow neatly brushed hair.

The bodies of those men who had shot at us were no longer there. I felt as though something had to be said about that situation at some point, whether or not I was still there.

My shoes made loud thumping noises as I pushed myself up the stairs after Lori. I couldn't control the stress I was feeling as I followed her in a terse silence. When we both finally reached the bedroom she'd chosen, Lori walked inside, her face red. I followed, and with a slam of a door we were alone.

"So what was that?" Lori immediately demanded, whipping around like a cobra ready to attack.

I knew what she was talking about, but I just didn't have an answer.

"I..." I paused as she placed a thin hand on her hip. "I'm not sure."

And it was the truth. While I was spiralling out of control in that closet, I couldn't string a single thought together, and all I could remember was fragments of images and emotions that I couldn't quite pinpoint.

"What were you thinking? I just, I don't understand... How you seemed so small and scared and innocent, and, well..." Lori drifted off bitterly, "Now look at you."

"Wh-What?" I scoffed, taking a step back so my legs were pushed against the bed. "I'm not some crazy person!"

"Tell me how we are supposed to know that. We don't know you. We've welcomed you into our group, offered you protection even after we heard about where you came from," She spat, crossing her arms tightly as though holding herself back. "And for someone who claims they're not insane, you sure act like it!"

"Are you kidding me right now? This isn't some soap opera, Lori! This isn't about defending the honour of your husband!" I had gained this intense fiery ball inside of me, and I loved it. I loved this newfound sense of confidence I had gained from the past few weeks, after everything I'd been through. "This is life, life and death... And, and I'm so sick of being treated like... Well, I don't know... like I'm still a prisoner!"

"God, you people took me from my family, and I'm lost now... I don't know where I am, and my brother is gone..." I shook my head bitterly, "T-This isn't some little catfight, okay? I'm struggling, I'm trying so hard to fit in, and it's just..." I drifted off, as I was close to crumbling. I honestly didn't want to be talking to Lori about any of this. It took me a few seconds to work up my strength in voice again, before I continued, "I don't want to go."

"Well, I wouldn't be surprised if Rick decides he doesn't want you here, after you attacked him! Who's to say you won't just snap one day, and finish the job?"

"The ... The job!?" I spluttered, scratching my head in frustration. "I wasn't trying to kill him!"

"You had your hands around his throat."