A Lifetime

A Lifetime / Chapter 3

The next day felt much like a fog. She habitually finished chores around the house. Her walk with Grizzly, her German Shephard, was unconsciously longer than usual. Her energy was lacking but it certainly felt more intentional than sitting about the house suffocated by her thoughts.

She welcomed the fresh air to hopefully clear some of that same fog. It wasn't really helping though. It did, however, seem to help her thoughts become less foreboding.

She walked into the house, hung up the leash, and immediately called Oliver again. She needed her best friend's thoughts and input.

"That was a long time ago dear. Don't worry about it in the least. I mean, I understand the nerves but do the project, pay off Sophie's car and then let's talk about which book you are going to finish for me. Deal?"

His calm demeanor was exactly what she needed at times like this. He was such a great listener. All the while, he paid attention. He knew there was more.

"What are you scared of?" he asked the question that she had already asked herself over and over again already. It was taunting her. She couldn't answer it. She had closed a chapter of her life so long ago that opening the book to find the pages unchanged seemed recklessly painful. But she wasn't going to actually open the book. She was going to assist, in a small way, with the sequel to help with a problem without having to deal directly with the main character. She would be the writer of an insignificant scene. An irrelevant scene and then move on to the next script. That's what she told herself. That's what she needed to believe. That's how her writer's brain coped.

By the end of the day, she was emotionally drained. She needed her muse, more than usual. She steeped her tea bag in her cup, as she always did late in the evening, and carried it to her lake. Her friend would listen every day, if only to her thoughts. It was soothing. Especially tonight.

It was the blackest dark. This time of year, in the East, it was dark at six o'clock in the evening. But it was after nine, so the stars offered little help against the shroud of night. This night was not just blistering cold, the wind added more depth to its typical bite.

She had wrapped a blanket around her coat as she walked to the chair outside.

She finished one cup earlier than usual. It was cold but that wasn't why. Her sipping was hypnotic. She took one small sip after another, as each memory crept in. She pushed one away, only to be haunted by the next. His smile. His eyes. The look that no one can replicate. It's something that few couples share that eludes explanation. It speaks for itself. It spoke for them.

She went inside, debated on going to sleep but knew she would be staring at the ceiling, so she went back to the coffee maker and poured another cup of hot water, and dropped in another tea bag.

She walked back out, defeated, to her seat by the lake.

She held the cup with one hand now, her other hand touching two fingers to her lips. She was lost in thought somewhere. In another time.

A sound caused her to shift her attention to her left. It was the subtle hum of an engine that appeared to be heading in her direction. This was unusual for this time of night in the winter. Her area wasn't a main artery for traffic during the summer. Definitely not now. Someone was probably lost. She did have the occasional turnaround for those who didn't know their way around this enormous lake.

She sat still as the boat approached. It was packed with what had to be close to eight teenagers. There was laughter and screaming. She began to smile at their laughter. She thought of her children. It was a nice distraction.

The smile on her face began to fade as the boat's engine gave no indication that it was slowing down. It was still revved at the same speed as when it first passed her dock.