5 | Pink and Sparkly

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We all crashed onto the couch directly after eating. There was a telenovela on, playing quietly behind us. Benji fell asleep quick. Just a half hour ago, he was talking excitedly about surfing, but now, his eyes were drooping closed and his chest was rising and falling with sleep.

Nico smiled over at him, nudging my shoulder. "He looks so peaceful."

I watched the way he curled into the couch like a dog. I didn't know if I'd ever felt that way, even in sleep. I was always running from something. "Benji always is," I said.

"He was as a kid, too. Never nervous or anything. Just... happy."

I chewed on that for a second. That was how I imagined Nicolas sometimes- this ball of sunshine. I knew him long enough to know that there was something sad inside of him, but I'd never seen it. Maybe he'd just gotten good at hiding it.

"Yeah. Benj' hasn't changed at all."

"Have any of us?"

"Well, yeah," I said. He shrugged in response, and I continued. "I mean, we had to. Both of us."

"Sure."

"Don't you think you've grown up?"

He waited for a beat before shrugging a second time. "I think being forced into growing up makes you feel younger than you are."

Neither of us wanted to unpack that, so our attention returned to the screen. Nicolas was hugging a throw pillow like it was a stuffed bear and I wondered, childishly, if he still had his old toys.

"So," Nicolas said after the episode ended, trying to break the tension. "You have a girlfriend?"

"No, no," I said immediately, and he sort of smiled in reply, like he could read me right there. So, I spat out, "Well, kind of."

"Kind of?"

I cleared my throat as I looked for the right answer. The last thing I wanted was to seem like a loser in front of him, too. "This girl at school likes me. I don't know about dating, though."

"Ah, so you've never had a girlfriend?" Nico asked, leaning back on the couch.

"No," I admitted quietly. "I'm guessing you've had dozens though, hm?"

"Just the one: Jackie. But, I don't really... She isn't my girlfriend girlfriend."

I nodded, studying him silently. It was boys that looked like him who usually got plenty of girls. He was charismatic, and muscled, and when he smiled, his lips dipped down like boats on the tide. I had seen it all before and quickly settled that he was probably popular back in Vermont. He was probably the kind of boy I'd avoid like the plague. But, when I looked at him now, I could still see hints of who left years ago. The Nico who'd go on and on about marrying a girl and having 10 kids with her.

Embarrassment was sprouting inside of me. I hadn't so much as liked a girl. My life felt so small against his, and it sort of burned to think about it. Maybe he thinks I'm a waste of time. Maybe Benji does, too. Maybe everyone who's every met Apollo Quinn thinks he hasn't lived a life at all, Quickly, I thought up something to give me a bit more credit.

"But, I have a date this weekend," I said, and immediately wanted to pull the words back into my mouth.

"Really?" he said. "Alright, Apollo! Good for you. Who's the girl?"

"Right," I mumbled. "Uh, her name is Lilli. She's super smart- like a genius. And pretty."

It wasn't a total lie or anything. Lilli had been interested in me all year. I just pretended not to notice. Something about the idea of being someone's boyfriend made my stomach hurt.

Nicolas nodded at that. "Well, good!"

I let out a nervous laugh and looked away again. "Haha, yeah," I mumbled.

My phone rang beside me, startling Benji awake across the room. I left Nico to laugh at him as I put the phone to my ear.

"Hi, Apollo," mom said.

"Hey, what's up?" Benji was curling into the couch like he was hiding from the world, and Nicolas was eating it up.

"Do you want me to pick you guys up? I'm on my way to the store right now if you two wanna join me."

I tilted the phone away, glancing at Nico.

"You want my mom to pick us up?" I asked. Benji grudgingly reached out to tap me, mumbling something in refusal.

"Uh, no it's cool. We can bike," Nicolas said after a moment of thinking. I raised a brow at this.

"You hated biking," I said.

"I've gotta get better at it though, right? I've got the whole summer left to bike around."

I nodded and pulled the phone back to my ear, quickly thanking then declining my mother, and hanging up the phone as Benji sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"Can we go surf now?" the boy murmured, his voice still rough from sleep.

"You're barely awake, Benj'," I said. He pouted for a moment, then stood and extended a hand to Nicolas.

"You'll come surf with me, right?"

"Sure, why not," Nico said, grabbing his hand. Benji tugged excitedly, leaving them standing side by side. "C'mon, Apollo. It'll be fun."

I huffed out an annoyed breath before standing beside the two. "I'm not touching that surfboard."

"Whaaaaat?" Benji groaned. "What'll you be doing the whole time, then, hm?"

I smiled and reached into the bag I had rested beside the couch, pulling out a book. "I came prepared." Benji clicked his tongue and grabbed the book from my hands.

"To the Lighthouse," he read slowly from the cover. I snatched it back from his hands and carefully placed it under my arm. "Is it a misprint or something? 'To the Lighthouse' isn't even a full sentence."

"You're an idiot."

He sighed dramatically. "My best friend is a loser."

"Hey," I yelped as Nicolas laughed in reply.

"Who brings a book to the beach?"

"People who understand that humans have no business dealing with water. We aren't designed for it."

"You," Benji said, pushing my chest with a finger, "Are no fun."

"And you are going to drown one day while I stand on the shore. Safe. Probably with a book in hand."

"Aw, and then you'll have no friends left."

"Asshole," I said.

"Nicolas, you can borrow my sister's board. Fair warning: it is pink and sparkly, but it works."

"Nothing wrong with pink and sparkly," Nicolas shrugged in reply. Benji disappeared up his stairs "I'm excited. I haven't touched saltwater in, like, 5 years."

"Did you even bring swim trunks?"

"Uh, yeah," Nico answered, reaching into his bag for them. "I don't know if I can still swim, though. It's been a long time."

"And... You're jumping directly into surfing?"

Nicolas shrugged. "Why not?"

"Because you could drown! Seriously, am I the only one scared of the ocean?"

He laughed and grabbed my shoulder, shaking his head slightly. "Maybe we should trade lives. You'd do better in Vermont."

"Yeah, I'll pass."

Benji came barreling downstairs with two surfboards in hand and shoved the pink one into Nicolas's arms. "My sister is not happy about this. I suggest we run."

From the top of the stairs, a girl's voice boomed out. "Benjamin! Devuélveme mi mierda ahora mismo," she yelled and, though I couldn't understand what exactly she said, I knew it sounded angry. We all bolted out of the front door and raced down Benji's sidewalk in pursuit of the ocean.

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