Home for the Summer (BOYXBOY)

17 | Around and Around

"I'm seriously afraid of heights," I said as we waited in line for the ferris wheel. "Why don't you just go on alone?"

Nicolas gave me a smirk and shoved his hands into his pockets. "You've gotta live a little, Ollie."

"I'm happy continuing on with a plain, boring life."

"Well, I'm not letting you do that," he replied. "At least not while I'm staying here."

We boarded a cart and I snapped on my seatbelt that definitely won't protect me if this thing were to break down and suddenly, we were off. The Ferris wheel spun very slowly which was both a blessing- seeing as though I most likely wouldn't die on it- and a curse, because I would have to spend 5 minutes beside Nicolas Young as we turned around and around in the air.

"Oh my god, Ollie. Look at the view," he gasped, pointing outward.

The infinite stretch of beach surrounded us as the waves pulled in and out, following the moon's rhythm. Endless blue in every direction. "How many other people do you think are looking at the exact same ocean right now?"

Nico had a way of asking questions that nobody else would've thought about. He was like that as a kid, too. Every sentence, every object, every person was a mystery to him, and he desperately wanted to know more. So, as I hovered above the festival floors, I thought along with him.

I thought about the people in the other Ferris wheel carriages staring out at the ocean. The people on the ground looking, too. Families watching over dinner from their windows and patios, couples observing from the sandy shores, men sailing on boats. The people on the other side of the water where the sun was still high in the air. It was all so much bigger than us.

"So, you're scared of everything," he said after a while. This was probably supposed to be a question but it sounded more like a statement. I shrugged in response.

"Not everything."

"Okay, what aren't you afraid of?"

It took a bit too long for me to reply and Nicolas continued to watch in amusement. "I'm not scared of bugs."

"Hm," he nodded. "Interesting. Why's that?"

"I guess... They have a body and a mind and a soul so, in a way, bugs are like us. The ocean isn't like that. This Ferris wheel isn't like that."

"So, you're not scared of people, then?"

I blinked back at him because hearing that question out loud makes it seem silly. Who would be afraid people? I'm a person. Everyone I know is a person. Why would that be scary? I opened my mouth to reply before I realized that Nico completely horrifies me. Looking at him sends a jolt through my stomach and speaking to him makes me feel sort of lightheaded. I am scared of people, and that is quite embarrassing.

"I'm not scared of most people," I replied, which isn't exactly a lie.

"What about Benji?"

"How could anyone be afraid of Benji?" I laughed. The cart was slowly moving upwards into the night. I looked up at just how clear it was; Like a pool of black ink churning and dipping above our heads.

"Okay, how about Lilli?"

"Uh... I guess I'm a bit scared of her." The ink dropped into the cart, pooling at our feet and daring us to travel higher. We continued.

"What about me?" he said as we reached the highest point. I would've responded, but the ocean looked remarkably large from up here, so I glanced away from Nico's eyes. After a minute, he drew in a pensive breath. "Everyone looks so small down there."