I walk back, past Denise, without looking at her once. I sit down in the car without saying anything.
Fortunately, she doesn't ask how I am or say that everything will be all right.
"What did he say?" she asks as she drives into a roundabout.
"I have to go now," I answer her.
"Is that all?" she asks, horrified.
I just nod and look out of the window again.
"At least now he knows what I wanted to tell him. The rest doesn't matter," I say again and lean my head against the window pane.
"Can you drive me home?", I ask Denise, who nods and then heads in our direction.
"Thanks for at least trying," she says and smiles at me as I get out of the car.
I smile back and quickly go into the house so that she doesn't see the first tears running down my cheek after all.
I quickly go up to my room and lie down in bed. This is where I have spent most of the last month and most of the next month will probably be here too.
I turn on the TV to watch the game.
It hasn't started yet, but the teams are just coming in.
They are playing Bayern Munich today. A tough game.
A tough game, my ass, because in the end it's 5:0 for Dortmund.
Jude scored 3 goals and prepared the other two.
He's getting better and better. I'm happy for him. What makes him happy makes me happy too.
Interviews are being shown again and it's Erling's turn. He is asked the usual questions, how he felt about the game, how he feels now...After him, it's Jude's turn.
"Good afternoon Jude Bellingham. First of all, congratulations on this match and on being, quite rightly, man of the match. How is it that you are in such good form today? Did you do something special before the match that then affected your playing skills? And how does it feel?" the reporter asks him.I ask myself the same question.
I could never play so well after my girlfriend explained to me how exactly she cheated me.
"No, I did everything the same way I always do, but if I had played the way I felt today, I would have been kicked off the pitch in the third minute of the game. That's why I really blocked out all my private problems and feelings during the game and really concentrated on myself for the whole match. And a victory and a game like that feels great, of course," he answers, not smiling once.
In every other interview he was always beaming like the sun, but today?
Today he looks more like a storm cloud that could flash and thunder at any moment.
"What did you think of the atmosphere here today, in front of a sell-out crowd?" the reporter asks again.
"Yes, of course, like every time, it's indescribable. I could play in front of an audience like this every day and I would still look forward to it just as much every time, I would still get goose bumps just as much every time. There's really no other word than indescribable for it."
"Thank you so much Jude Bellingham. Good luck.", the reporter says one last time and Jude disappears without saying anything else.
Oh. He's pissed.
But before I can think of him any further, my eyes close and I fall asleep.
I am only woken up again by a constant ringing on my mobile. I answer it quickly, still quite sleepy.
