AS THE WORLD FALLS DOWN I RICK GRIMES

Cruel World

Cruel World

Because you're young, you're wild, you're free
You're dancin' circles around me
You're fuckin' crazy
Oh, oh, you're crazy for me...

Alexis sat in a far corner, hands folded in her lap, her face a blank study. Nearby, Rick paced to and fro, trying to soothe a wailing Judith. She was hungry, but he had nothing to give her, his hands as empty as her stomach. But still he strode back and forth, murmuring nonsense, cradling Judith's head against his shoulder. Alexis watched him against her will, studying the hard curve of his jaw, how it sat at odds with the uncharacteristic softness present in his weatherbeaten face.

After the storm had abated, Rick had sat up all night watching Alexis sleep, his gaze her bonds, trapping her as much as rope and chains. But all his intentions of questioning her over her own intentions had been replaced by the more pressing concerns of feeding his daughter. Daryl had gone out hunting, Maggie and Glenn embarking on a probably pointless supply run, leaving the others to occupy themselves, either keeping guard or catching up on lost sleep.

"There's a jar of applesauce in my backpack," Alexis said quietly, making Rick round on her.

"What did you say?" he spat, making Judith wail even louder.

"I said there's a jar of applesauce in my backpack," Alexis said calmly, the picture of composure, whilst chaos reigned inside. "I told you before, remember?"

Rick just stared at her, his blue eyes blazing, lips thinning. "Get it," he then said, drawing his Colt Python, balancing Judith on his hip.

Without a word, Alexis staggered to her feet, going over to where her backpack had been dumped unceremoniously under a tack-table. As she knelt down, Rick came up behind her, gun raised in her direction. "Here," she said abruptly, all but slamming the jar down, beginning to lose her cool.

"Open it," he ordered.

Alexis unwillingly obeyed.

"Now eat it."

"It's not for me," Alexis snapped. "It's for the baby."

"Which is precisely why I want you to eat some," Rick snarled, "in front of me, right now."

"I'm not trying to poison your kid" -

- "Eat the goddamn applesauce!"

"I'm not going to be your goddamn guinea pig!" Alexis shouted, her voice ringing through the rafters.

"You wanna die?" Rick said, his finger curling round the trigger. "Cos if that's the way you want this to go down, I'm more than willin' to play."

"Do you want your daughter to die?" Alexis said, her voice shaking. "Because if she doesn't eat, that's what is going to happen."

"So eat the applesauce, then," Rick said from between gritted teeth.

"I - I hate applesauce," Alexis winced, the words being wrenched from her lips, "even looking at it is enough to make me throw up."

"Barf or die," Rick said simply. "Your choice."

"I hate you, you know that?" Alexis said, the tears welling up in her eyes. "I fucking hate you!"

Rick just shrugged his shoulders, eyes empty, his finger still curled around the trigger.

Hands shaking, Alexis unscrewed the jar lid, Carl appearing out of nowhere, and handing her a battered looking silver spoon. As their eyes met, she saw pity for her, a pity that only served to anger her. Ramming the spoon into the sauce, she scooped out a large gooey chunk, before shoving it into her mouth, fighting the urge to throw up. Forcing herself to swallow it, she tossed the spoon down onto the table, half turning away from Rick as he stowed away his gun, her hand involuntarily flying to her throat.