AS THE WORLD FALLS DOWN I RICK GRIMES

Put Your Guns Away

Put Your Guns Away

Rick stood on the porch, his hands balled by his sides, dark circles etched under his eyes, having been unable to let his defences down and sleep. He'd gotten up in the middle of the night, pacing the rooms, lingering in the master bedroom the most, the sight of the double bed making him remember the early days of his marriage, all the plans he and Lori had made for their future, never imagining the end of the world. This house was for a family, not the makeshift family he'd formed, but of blood and bone, children and grandchildren, settling down and setting down roots.

As he stood there, Alexis walked past the porch, two boys trailing behind her, one about Carl's age, sporting acne and floppy hair, all skater chic and slouching shoulders; the other younger, small and weedy, with wide eyes and a brown bowl-cut, Rick taking them to be the nephews Alexis had spoken of. They looked morose, Alexis even more so, but she scavenged up a smile for Rick, raising her hand in greeting to him, Rick lifting his own hand, the gesture feeling almost alien. As they went down the sidewalk, Rick watched them go, leaning his elbows on the porch railing, his face darkly thoughtful.

"Ready to rumble, Dad?" Carl said, coming out onto the porch, carrying Judith in his arms. He'd tried putting her in the pram provided for them by Aaron, but she'd thrown a temper tantrum, never having seen a pram before, the contraption frightening her.

"You go up ahead, I'll catch up," Rick said as the others streamed down the steps, ready to explore the rest of Alexandria, Carl shrugging his shoulders before following them.

"You sleepwalkin' last night?" Daryl asked Rick as he sat down in a far corner of the porch, making Rick glance over at him.

"All night," Rick said bluntly, straightening up.

Daryl just nodded, hugging his knees to his chest, face tripping him.

"You stayin' put?" Rick asked, reading Daryl's defensive body language.

"I don't wanna get all hot an' heavy just yet," Daryl said sarcastically, "Fantasy Island will j'st have to wait for my warm embrace."

Rick reluctantly grinned at this, having always admired Daryl's unique turn of phrase, but his humour faded at Daryl's next words, not liking the unmistakeable meaning behind them.

"Goldilocks went that way," Daryl continued, jerking his head, "seen her head past the kitchen window - if you git goin', you might just catch up with her. Mebbe she'll let you hold her hand."

"You're gettin' more and more like Merle every day, man," Rick said, shaking his head at Daryl.

"So is you," Daryl retorted, "losin' your head over a piece of tail."

Rick snorted. "That is the last thin' on my mind," he said scornfully, "especially with Alexis. She's a pistol, and my tastes don't run in that direction."

For a moment, Daryl was on the edge of reminding Rick that Lori hadn't exactly been a wilting wallflower either, but he held his tongue, knowing when too far was too far.

"Stay here, then," Rick said sarcastically, jogging down the porch steps, "and keep the home fires burnin'."

~*~

Rick made his way down the sidewalk, moving as though in slow motion, trying to adjust his mind-set to the mundane instead of the murderous. A woman went past, walking a dog, the sight making him stumble to a stop, remembering the dogs Sasha had shot, the bitter taste of their flesh still on his tongue. In his warped world, the woman's dog was food on the go, but in here, it was a pet, pampered and protected whilst the living starved to death outside Alexandria's walls.