AS THE WORLD FALLS DOWN I RICK GRIMES

It's The Darkest Of Grey

It's The Darkest Of Grey

"She's here."

Rick pretended to glance around the room, taking in the sight of Olivia standing in the doorway, an uncertain smile playing on her lips. He took a swift sip of brandy, knowing what her presence pertained, setting off the tripwire to his taking over of Alexandria. "I'll go with you, if you want," he said to Carol under his breath, "Officer Friendly lendin' you a helpin' hand."

Carol repressed a smirk. "Stay here," she said in his ear, leaning over as she spoke, "keep an eye on the crowd. Make sure nobody slips out."

Rick nodded, before taking another sip of brandy, the glass clinking against his teeth. As Carol slipped into the shadows, he made his way over to the window, feigning interest in the pile of books haphazardly stacked up on the sill, ensuring he had an unobstructed view of the pantry entrance.

"I didn't take you for a bookworm," a voice said from behind him, making Rick turn around, only to see Pete swaying slightly on the spot, "I figured you were more a man of action."

"I garnered the same impression of you earlier," Rick said, forcing a smile, "back in the pantry, with Alexis. Havin' problems in that quarter?"

Pete studied Rick, not fooled by his friendliness, sensing a storm in the air. "Alexis and I have a... rocky relationship," he said, nursing his glass, "sometimes it gets too hot to handle." He exhaled sharply, wondering if he'd said too much, the alcohol loosening his tongue, but Rick had seen too much to hide the truth from, Pete drunkenly deciding to play his game. "We have our differences," he slurred slightly, "but deep down, we stick together. We're family, we have to."

"Yeah," Rick agreed uneasily, glancing up as Jessie came over, Alexis trailing morosely at her heels, both of them nursing glasses of bourbon. "How are you ladies enjoyin' the party?" he said, feeling like a fool, mundane civilities sitting ill on his shoulders.

"We're enjoying it just fine," Jessie said with a strained smile, instantly apprehensive at seeing her husband and Rick talking together, sensing the tension in the air. She had asked Pete earlier to keep his alcohol intake to a minimum, but even though it was only early evening, Pete was already dancing dangerously close to the edge of drunkenness. His response to her request had been to shove her aside, a warning sign Jessie refused to recognize, only wanting a pleasant evening out with her family.

"Don't let us interrupt the male bonding," Alexis said, an edge entering her voice, making Rick glance sharply at her.

"We were just talking about you actually," Pete said, hiccoughing, "that even though you and I fight like cat and dog, deep deep down, we love each other really."

"I'm thinking fathoms deep," Alexis said sarcastically, her grip tightening on her glass.

"Ah, the incomparable Alexis," Pete said just as sarcastically, suddenly sober, "what would life be without your wit?" He reached out to ruffle her hair, making Alexis flinch, Pete instantly dropping his hand to his side. "Jeesh," he snapped, "you're like a cat on a hot tin roof. You should learn to relax more" -

- "Rick, would you like another drink?" Jessie said brightly, too brightly, cutting across Pete, who glared at her.

"Drinks are a man's business," Pete spat, snatching Rick's glass out of his hand, "so allow me, Rick, I won't do you wrong."

"I put myself in your hands," Rick said with another forced smile, Pete nodding before stalking off into the crowd, Rick watching him go with hooded eyes.

"Thank fucking God," Alexis said under her breath, making Jessie round on her.

"He's trying, okay?" Jessie snapped. "At least give him credit for making the effort."

Alexis just turned away, taking a sip of bourbon instead, feigning interest in a Picasso reproduction hanging on the wall near them.

"I apologise for my little sister's foul language," Jessie said to Rick, "she really needs to rinse out her mouth with soap."

"I'm a big boy," Rick said lightly, "I can handle the air turnin' blue. But a sister's gotta keep her siblin's in line, am I right?" He offered Jessie a sideways grin, the type Shane used to bestow on strangers, charming the men, whilst literally charming the pants off the women, Rick wondering with a sudden sickening jolt if he was turning into Shane, adopting his anarchistic attitude.

"Too darn right," Jessie said, shaking her head. "I'm constantly keeping an eye on Alexis."

"Good," Rick said, carelessly glancing out of the window, ensuring Carol's way was still clear, "but it seems like you should be keepin' an eye on Pete instead."

Alexis immediately whirled around, her eyes accusing. It was one thing her picking trouble with Pete, having plenty of good reason to resent him, but another with a comparative stranger stirring it up. "Rick, don't," she warned, "this isn't the time or place."

"I know why you put up with Pete," Rick said, stooping down so he was eye-level with Jessie, ignoring Alexis, "why you keep puttin' off leavin' him, sayin' you will when you won't. It's so you don't rock the boat, so Deanna doesn't have to choose. I get it. You don't wanna drag your dirty laundry into the light, forcing all these stupid fucks to finally see it out in the open. But there's gonna come a day when you'll have to choose, Jessie, so I suggest you pick the right side."

"I" -

- "Same with Earle," Rick continued, giving voice to his inner suspicions, "didn't want to rock the boat over that either, did you?"

Jessie paled, before turning on her heel and leaving. Rick watched Pamela and her partisans waylay her, before glancing out of the window again, everything in the all clear for now. He knew he was playing with fire, but too much had been said for false acts, Rick knowing too much, becoming too involved.

"You shouldn't have said any of that," Alexis said, her voice cracking, making Rick round on her.

"Maybe I should have," Rick retorted. "Somebody had to."

"You shouldn't waste your breath," Alexis snapped. "I know I did."

"All I know that you're walkin' a thin line," Rick snapped back, "Jessie shit scared in case you take her and her family down with you. She's tryin' to save face by bein' Deanna's lapdog, actin' as though her husband's not usin' her as a punchbag. She can save face all she wants though but I seen the look on her face when I brought Earle to the table – she's takin' a trip to Guilt City over that lil slip-up, just as I thought, sittin' in judgement upon you with everyone else."

"You weren't there" -

- "Don't bullshit me, Alex," Rick hissed, "anythin' you do that jeopardizes Jessie's place in Alexandria, she will all but bail on you. No matter how much she loves you, she has her sons to think about. This isn't just about Pete – it's about what happened with this Earle as well and okay, I might not have been there, but I am a damn good judge of human nature. Jessie's just keepin' her head above water, but you're drownin', draggin' her and hers down with you."

All the blood drained from Alexis's face at this, and as Rick studied her, he knew Carol would be cursing him for what he was doing, almost undoing their efforts to secure Alexandria, but in that moment, rage ruled Rick, making him forget all he was fighting for.

"Deep down, Jessie's already made her choice," Rick said quietly, "look what she did there, blackenin' you and defendin' Pete – because in protectin' Pete, she's protectin' her sons" -

- "Fuck you, Rick Grimes," Alexis spat, suddenly flinging her drink in his face, before turning on her heel and leaving.

I watched your fingers point at the blame
It's the darkest of grey when you explain
I'm not a follower and I won't follow you down...