AS THE WORLD FALLS DOWN I RICK GRIMES

When I Close My Eyes

When I Close My Eyes

Hollow, you drift into the light
Hollow girl...

Alexis started violently as a loud knock suddenly shattered the silence. After Holly had left, she had just sat there staring at Holly's empty seat, her thoughts whirling like a hurricane through her head. Rising out of her own chair, she stumbled to the back door, experiencing a disorientating sense of deja-vu as she did.

"Good morning," Carol chirped as Alexis opened the back door, "room service!"

"Hi," Alexis said uneasily, her gaze falling upon the laundry basket Carol had balanced on her hip, the piles of neatly folded clothes undoubtedly disguising the guns and ammunition Carol had promised.

Carol just smiled, eyes crinkling up at the corners, Alexis not fooled one whit by her apparent equanimity, only stepping aside to let Carol in. "I saw Eric up on the platform by the gate," Carol said conversationally, carefully setting the laundry basket down on the kitchen table, "I didn't know he was on guard-duty."

"Neither did I until this morning," Alexis said abruptly, "but it means it's just us in the house."

"Excellent," Carol said lightly, glancing around, "that just makes everything that much easier." With one swift movement, she removed the topmost pile of clothes, placing them beside the laundry basket, revealing two handguns and some boxes of bullets. "They're not loaded," Carol said coldly, gesturing for Alexis to take them, "but I assume you know how to handle a firearm? Cleaning, dismantling, loading, shooting and so forth?"

Alexis just looked at Carol in her fluffy cardigan, the image at odds with her words. "Yeah, I do," she then said just as coldly, lifting the guns and boxes out of the basket, "our dad taught me and Jessie."

"What did your father think of Pete?" Carol said curiously, making Alexis glance in surprise at her. "Did he dig him?"

Alexis snorted. "Are you kidding!?" she said in disbelief. "He thought Pete was a prick. But Jessie wouldn't hear a bad word against him. She fell out with Dad over Pete more times than I've had hot dinners." Carol just nodded, an awkward silence then descending, Alexis folding her arms across her chest, leaning against the kitchen table. "If Rick doesn't know you've stolen those guns," she then said coolly, making Carol stiffen, shoulders tensing, "why are you taking them? He's the leader, isn't he, or is he just a puppet king?"

"I told you" -

- "I don't want to hear your sob stories," Alexis flared up, "I want to know the real reason why it's you of all people who's stealing from us, people who have done nothing but help you!"

Carol bowed her head. "I don't know if Rick told you about the prison," she said quietly, immediately catching Alexis's interest, "but it was very much like Alexandria. We had walls, fences, a roof over our heads. We took people in, offered them a place to start again, to contribute towards our community. But there were others who wanted what we had built, who took it by force, only to ultimately destroy it all. So out there, there will be somebody who will want what Alexandria has, and they will try to take it. If your people aren't prepared for that day, our people have to be." And it will be us who'll take what you have, Carol thought, watching Alexis's jaw tighten, reluctantly accepting the logic of her words.

Alexis absorbed this information, remembering Daryl's mention of the prison last night, of Maggie's father and Spaghetti Tuesdays, a strange pang shooting through her at how little she still knew of Rick and the rest of his people. "Yeah, there's always been that worry that there could be trouble," she then admitted against her will, "but Deanna's always damped it down. That's why she sometimes has Spencer up in the clock tower" -

- "I know," Carol cut across her, "the empty rifle and all that. But you can't keep Alexandria safe with illusions, Alexis. That's just insanity."

"Hey," Alexis snapped, "things are changing – your great leader is making sure of that at least. So why are you pouring petrol over everything he's trying to achieve by stealing our shit? If you get caught, it's Rick who'll take the fall. Nobody's going to believe that it was your idea all along, cute little Carol" -

- "Rick is trying to play the long game," Carol said coolly, refusing to rise to the bait, "with Pete; with Deanna; with Alexandria. He thinks by taking the gently, gently approach, he'll win hearts and minds, that Pete will somehow play nice and Deanna will do the same. But that's bullshit – you know that, and I know that."

"The day Pete plays nice will be when all hell freezes over."

"Well, clichés aside, Pete is an issue that should have been dealt with a long time ago."

Alexis bit her lip, remembering Rick promising to stop Pete, that he would help her when nobody else would. Even as she'd told Rick to stay out of the situation, Alexis reluctantly realised that deep down she'd been stupidly expecting Rick to save her, to do what she couldn't and protect her family from Pete. "Pete is our only doctor," she said slowly, thinking of Holly and the bombshell she was pregnant, Alexis finally forced to by circumstances to see the situation from Deanna's side, "there's vulnerable people amongst our community who need him despite everything."

"There's Denise, isn't there?" Carol said, startling Alexis. "I'm assuming Pete doesn't like to share his status or she would be practicing alongside him. I mean, it would make sense to have as much expertise on hand as possible."

Alexis half closed her eyes, remembering Alexandria in its beginning, Deanna encouraging Denise to assist Pete in the clinic, Denise initially doing so despite being crippled by a lack of confidence. But Pete's constant putdowns had only served to increase her self-doubt, Denise soon refusing to assist at all, hiding in her house instead. "Pete made sure Denise couldn't work beside him," Alexis admitted, "but if Pete was out of the picture..." Her voice trailed off uncertainly, Carol raising her eyebrows expectantly, Alexis unable to say anything else.

"I'll take care of Pete," Carol then said, "and you take care of your family, yeah?"

"Are – are you going to kill Pete?" Alexis asked, her voice cracking despite herself.

"I said I would take care of Pete," Carol reiterated, taking out the rest of the laundry, piling it up on the table, "that's all you need to know, and I need to know if you'll tell Rick about this, even if it means putting your own neck on the line."

Alexis just stood there, torn between the truth and a lie. "Fine, we'll play it your way," Alexis then said abruptly, picking up the guns and boxes, tucking them under her arm, "I won't say anything, but this doesn't mean I'm on your side, okay?" As Carol rolled her eyes in response, a strange hollow feeling swelled in Alexis's stomach, akin to the sensation of standing on the edge of a precipice, feeling like she was going to fall. Somehow she was condoning every illicit action Carol was carrying out, even as every instinct warned her not to trust Carol. "Are you giving guns to anyone else?" Alexis asked suddenly. "Apart from me, I mean?"

"No," Carol lied, "if I start handing guns out like cookies, it means I have to ask more people to lie to Rick, and that's not going to happen. I'll just keep the guns in a safe place until they're needed."

Alexis frowned. "But if you're living in expectation of an attack at any moment," she said, confused, "and yeah, the threat is feasible, I admit that - it would make more sense to be armed at all times, rather than having a stash of guns lying around in a drawer somewhere" -

- "I'll take care of it," Carol interrupted, secretly cursing Alexis's astuteness, that she was picking plausible holes in Carol's pretend plans.

"What, Carol calls it and we all fall into line – that nobody is allowed to carry a firearm - ever?" Alexis said sarcastically, raising an eyebrow. "You said it yourself that the rule of no weapons within the walls was ridiculous."

"Have a good day, Alex," Carol said brightly, balancing the laundry basket on her hip, before turning and leaving the kitchen.