CHAPTER 11

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"There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind." 

- C.S. LEWIS

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"I was wrong when I concluded that he won't care about your disappearance. He had mastered the skills of hiding his feelings, but yesterday he wasn't able to control them. Everyone on the table knew that he wasn't in the mood." Confessed Avni, on the phone. Kiara attempted to be least bothered with the information, but it was impossible. It was already difficult for her to ignore him and, knowing that her ignorance was hurting him so much, she was breaking the restraint she had built around her.

"I can't do anything about it." It sounded as if Kiara was forcing those words out as she shut her eyes in defeat, not wanting to end up in tears. "Passing any time around him is only building my hope, Avni. I can't allow such feelings when I know he is going to be the groom of my friend." She was trying to calm herself down.

"Would you pull yourself completely from us? Are you going to distance yourself from us?" Avni sounded displeased even broken.

"I don't have any other option, Avni. I had attempted a lot I can't carry on as if I don't feel a thing for him. I can't fake it more to myself. At least I need to be honest with myself maybe distancing is only a way out." Kiara muttered as she re-read the letter she had typed for the boss. "I need one promise from you, Avni." She paused for a minute longer waiting for Avni's response but there wasn't any reply from the other hand.

"You can't leave me alone, Kiara," Avni grumbled for the first time expressing her sadness. "I know, I had suggested to you. I had told you to distance yourself for a time being but not forever. After their wedding, things will be fine. Hadn't you said, it was a mere attraction and it will fade away with time?" Avni wanted to come up with an alternative that could stop Kiara from distancing herself from them. "You know if any of us drift apart our entire group would crumble into pieces."

"This isn't going to fade away, Avni. I had kept escaping from the truth. But it's high time I accept it. The feeling I hold isn't going to fade away. So, it will be better that I fade away from your all life."

"And what about us? Do you think, without you, we can be happy? Aditi would ever plan a wedding function without your presence? Dhruv is ever going to be interested in get-together without you? And Amrita, she considers you as a sister. How can you leave all of them behind?" Avni was accusing her of breaking so many hearts on the way.

"You have forgotten, Avni. This isn't Dhruv whom you're talking to. This is Kiara, the girl with a selfish heart. She values her peace above all. I can't keep breaking my heart with the hope of not hurting you all. I had forgotten that I wasn't a selfless figure like Dhruv. I can't take it any longer. If it hurts him, it's fine. I don't give a damn..." She held back the tears slowly flowing down her cheek. Inhaling deeply, attempting to act strong.

"You can't even lie properly..." Avni muttered ending into tears. "I will miss you..." she confessed breaking into sobs.

"I will as well..." Kiara responded back. "I need a promise Avni..." she waited again and heard Avni's allowance to continue. "You won't ever allow Dhruv to hate me. I had made myself comfortable with the fact that he won't ever have feelings for me. And it's fine!" She had a sad smile, "Aditi is very lucky to have him in her life. And I am happy for them. Maybe I won't ever be able to brush off the feeling but still, I am glad that Dhruv got the love of his life." Kiara brushed off the emerging tears. "But please look to it that he won't ever hate me. I won't be able to survive if I ever see revulsion for me in those beautiful pair of orbs." And at that minute she lost her patience. She broke into tears, breaking all the barriers she had built around her.

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