13. A late night talk

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"Aimee ?"... "Ayla ? Ayla what's wrong ?"... "Nothing I-" "Ayla, come here"... "What ?"... "Come here"..."Aimee who's calling me ?" ..."It's him"... "Ayla come here"..."I should go"..."Not if you don't want to"..."I don't have the choice"..."You do, take my hand"..."Okay"...
"Ayla !" a cloud of smoke suddenly surrounded her...
"No !"

"Ayla...Ayla honey wake up..."

I felt something wet under my cheek and as I slowly opened my eyes I started to realize I wasn't in this dark room, I was at my parent's, in my bed with my mom gently stroking my back . She had turned on the small night light I had since I was a baby and which was projecting white butterflies on the walls . My heartbeat was coming down little by little as she was talking to me .

"What's wrong angel ?" she asked me as if I turned into a baby again . And right now I was, I was a little kid who just had a nightmare and needed their mom to their side . But my nightmares were no longer childish nightmares .

"Nothing I... I just had a bad dream.." I sat up leaning my head against the cold wall behind me .

When I got home yesterday I didn't feel like being alone in my small appartment . I needed to be with people I loved and who loved me back . And those people were my parents . I drove to their house at 10pm and was welcomed by my dad in his Nirvana shirt his beard threatening to beat Santa's . Only five seconds after I put a foot inside he was making hot chocolate while my mom was taking my bag upstairs already asking me what I wanted to eat the day after. It was like I never left . Still the same smell of cinamon and coffee, still the same music playing over grandpa's old radio . It was what I needed, a break, a break from everything else . I needed to be at peace at least for a night but even that seemed impossible .

"You want to tell me what it was ?" she asked pulling up my covers .

"I...I don't know..."

"It's alright, bad dreams are not easy to tell. You need something ?"

"I'm fine... thanks mom..." I tried to force a smile on my face but it seemed so fake .

"Okay... Tell me if you need something..." she kissed me on the forehead just like she used to do before walking to the door .

"Mom ?" I said before she got out of my room .

"Yes angel ?"

"How... How did you know you loved dad ?" I felt like a fourteen-year-old telling her mom about her crush but right now it was actually not that different .

"Well" she chuckled "I knew I loved your dad when I realized he was the one making me laugh more than the others, the one making me smile more than the others, and especially the one making me feel listened more than the others . He was all more than the others... Oh and he also cries when watching Titanic which I find excessively cute" .

I smiled -truly this time- imagining my dad crying at Rose releasing Jack into the ocean .

"There was room on this fucking board..." I said a ligth laugh escaping my mouth .

"Definitely" she smiled at me "You want to tell me about her ?"

"Actually... I kind of already did, like almost four years ago..." I replied not knowing if she remembered the time when Ayla was the only person I would talk about .

"Oh that one... Aylee ?"

"Ayla..." I corrected glad that my mom didn't forget about her .

"How is she ?" she asked already knowing that Ayla was not the main problem .

"Umm I think she's not really happy..." I said feeling a pinch in my heart .

"Why so ?"

"Well... She has this boyfriend, this absolutely disgusting boyfriend, and..."

"And he's not made for her" she said finding the words for me .

"In fact I don't think he's made for anyone"

She sat back next to me putting a hairstrand behind my ear like she always does to reasssure me .

"Did you talk to her ?"

"Yeah... She's not happy... And I'm not saying that because... because... I'm saying that because it's obvious, she's not happy and she even told me so . The only thing I want is for her to be happy, to have someone with whom she could feel safe, someone who could see her as I see her . Why doesn't she find someone like that ?I'm sure there are plenty of people like that right ? Right ?"

"Okay calm down sweetie... " she took my hands in hers tracing invisible lines on mine "You're right, she should have someone like that, she deserves it . Fate is not always kind and fate sometimes makes mistakes but you have the power to change this, to... let's see... help fate a little bit!"

"How?" I whispered shivering .

"Make her see what you see . Make her realize how great she is and how great you think she is"

"How can I do that ?"

"You can do anything Aimee Queen... Now go to sleep young woman" and with that she kissed my forehead again, stood up and turned the light off as she walked back to the door "love you angel"

"Love you mom..."

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