Anuj's claim to affection (A Karna-Arjun what-if story)

The dharma of elder brothers

Yudhishthir's pov

The days of Arjun passing in and out of consciousness, thrashing and screaming, most often Madhav's name were the first ones Yudhishthir truly wished to delete from his life.

After Madhav came, the screams became a little less bloodcurdling. He was good at calming Arjun down swiftly. It made Yudhishthir feel a complete failure as an elder brother, even if he was grateful to Madhav. 

Their mother and Panchali were still away in Varanavat, though they were expected to return soon, and Yudhishthir had decided with Pitamah not to send ahead a message to them. He had been hoping Arjun would be up and about by then, but his recovery was stagnant.

Nakul and Sahadev were growing desperate. The wound on Arjun's head was halfway healed, and should not be enough to plunge him into unconsciousness as often as it did.

"What is wrong with him?" Bheem asked Madhav in anguish.

"He is not recovering because it is not the physical wounds." Madhav, in true Madhav-style, gave an answer which passed over Yudhishthir's head and only got him more worried.

Inside the palace and outside, the Karna-Arjun duel and Arjun's subsequent disappearance was the primary talking point of everyone.

People said it was because Arjun did not know how to lose and could not handle the humiliation of it, but Yudhishthir knew better. Arjun had lost plenty of times in his lifetime. But he recovered from defeat and bounced back so quickly, he always managed to ensnare the bigger victory. He knew to deal with defeat better than anyone Yudhishthir knew. 

He had never broken down like this.

Yudhishthir spent half the day at Arjun's bedside, soothing his forehead and holding back the constant lump in his throat. During the other half, he kept checking on Bheem, Nakul and Sahadev, who were insensible with fear by now. The lump in his throat went away, then.

The day Kunti and Panchali were supposed to return, Yudhishthir encouraged Bheem and the twins to go and receive them; they had been locked up in the infirmary far too long.

They all protested.

"What if Bhrata Arjun needs something?" asked Nakul.

"I will be here," said Yudhishthir. 

"You are not a medic, jyesht."

Sahadev subsided under Yudhishthir's stern gaze.

"Someone ought to be there to receive Maa. Go without worrying...I will not leave Arjun for one moment--look, I will go in right now." Yudhishthir categorically stepped halfway through the door of the infirmary. 

It was the first time in ages they shared a laugh. Bheem, Nakul and Sahadev conceded, bid him farewell and set off. Yudhishthir turned into the infirmary and found Arjun and Krishna talking.

Arjun was smiling a little; though it was a sad one, Yudhishthir paused to savour the sight. It was so rare these days, it felt like a treasure.

"It does not matter, Madhav, he will never know. This time I will confront Maa, I will tell her that since she has not cared to tell us all these years, she can never tell, ever--"

"What if when she comes back, the shock of what happened at the arena forces the truth out of her before you get hold of her?" asked Madhav in his trademark teasing way.

"Surely she will come to visit me first."

"You never know," said Madhav darkly. "You better get up and go to receive her."