Faking it || Lando Norris LN

44

Olivia Reyes

I grabbed my helmet and walked away, but the walls were screaming.

They were screaming and screeching my name. They called for me like haunted sirens, wailing as they grew into giant pieces of concrete threatening to collapse over me. My body was shaking as I took my distance from Vincent, not even being able to hear his last laughing remarks as every single sound got drowned out by a ringing noise inside my ears. Everything had gone mute, the same way you see in movies once a bomb goes off.

Except I was the bomb. My heart had been the bomb that went off.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

I felt like a thunderstorm had been brewing inside me for the longest time and now was the moment when the lightning began striking against the ground, making my heart break more and more with each hit.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

My vision was cloudy and my breathing was quickening. My body wasn't my own anymore. My knuckles were white as I held onto my helmet for dear life and the shock drawn all over my muscles prevented me from being able to move a single centimeter.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

I'd set myself up for failure. For heartbreak. For regret. I'd trusted time and time again, and for what? Lando had twisted the knife, but I'd been the one to hand it to him. I'd spent half the stunt complaining about him having a blueprint of half of my weak spots, only to show him where the other half was.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

I had expected him to not take a swing at my worst insecurities, my trust issues, and my difficulties with physical contact. I had expected him to be the man I'd seen him be for the last few weeks and completely ignored his games, impulses, and nature. And now my heart was racing and my chest was heaving and the walls were screaming and their hands were reaching for me and the only thing that echoed, and echoed, and echoed was how I'd been so stupid. So careless. So reckless with my own heart.

My feet seemed glued to the floor as I walked to the car. I was at the garage, in my race suit, and holding my helmet between my hands; but inside my mind, I was far away. Inside my mind, I was being swallowed by the hundreds of hands reaching out from the walls as they chanted and reminded me of what I was. Because that's what I was. That's what I'd always been.

Stupid. Stupid. Stop—

"Hey hey," a voice called to me in the middle of the thunder inside my head; a hand turned me around by the shoulder. "Good luck in quali! How are you feeling?"

Lando.

His smile was wide, his brows were up, and the zipper on his race suit was only halfway up.

His hair was slightly disheveled, and his shoulders were down.

His expression was relaxed, and his suit's orange had never seemed so bright.

But there was only one thing I was seeing.

Red.

My chest was burning, and so were my arms, legs, skin, and every breath I exhaled.

Every camera within a ten-meter radius was pointed at us, at Lando's smile, his expectant brows, and my wide eyes squinting as I looked up at him from my height. I couldn't let them know.

I put my helmet on.

"Get the fuck out of here," I spat out. The helmet muffled the sound perfectly so no one but Lando could hear.