Faking it || Lando Norris LN

Epilogue

"I have to go, Fewtrell and Clara will be drawing up the curtains at any moment," Lando said without dropping Olivia's hands. He stole a glance at the party's windows.

"Oh," Olivia thought out loud. That made sense as to why the curtains had suddenly been drawn down before Lando came to view on the balcony. "Wait, Clara? I thought.." Her eyebrows furrowed.

"It was Mia Violet?" Lando chuckled. "Yeah, she gets that a lot."

"Oh," Olivia shook her head with a smile. "Wait, where are you going?"

"There's one last thing I've got to do," he replied before bringing Olivia's hands to his mouth and giving them a long kiss. Lando shut his eyes while he did it.

He left quietly. A swift thief in the night would've drawn more attention. Olivia didn't even see the moment the curtains had been brought up. A wide smile was drawn on her face as she was suddenly able to see the party inside again.

She would always have her people, and Lando would always have his. Their accomplices. It made her heart warm.

And Olivia's people were making sure the party wouldn't die easily. Her heart sang and her smile glimmered all night long; dancing alongside her best friends and buying rounds of shots to every Ferrari crew member. Her head spins at times and Lena assures her lovingly that she'll walk with her to the restroom in case she needs to throw up, but Olivia makes it through the party and laughs at Daniel —who ended up being the one throwing up that night.

Once the night was over and her accomplices were all soundly asleep on the floor, bathroom, sofa, and bed of Charles' hotel room, Olivia scurried to a different floor.

With her heels in one hand and the other one wiping out the smudged mascara under her eyes from the happy, and laughing tears she'd cried all night long, she made her way to Lando's door and knocked.

His heart skipped a beat as soon as he heard it. The chaos of the past few days was etched on his skin. It couldn't be his father —now arrested; it couldn't be Davies —who Lando had fired after he left the party; but knowing Olivia would be stopping by was still twice as nerve-wracking than the other two showing up to his door together.

Lando hurried to the door. Half expecting to open it and wake up in the middle of a long flight, making his way to another race with eleven and a half months still left for him to be free of the contract that had been torturing him.

But then she's there.

Olivia's there with wide glazed eyes and arms wrapped around herself because she's cold. He could never understand how someone could be the sun and get cold so easily all the bloody time, but he pulled her hand and brought her close before shutting the door.

The two melted into each other and fell on the bed without saying a word for the longest time. They stared at each other and let the sunrise peek through the window, allowing it to be the first witness of their freedom.

For the first time, Lando realized he did have a favorite color. It was the golden hue that shone in Olivia's brown eyes as the sun gave birth to a new day while holding her in his bed. They held each other tightly, like a lifeline, like a lifesaver, like their whole life was inside the other.

No more chains.

They don't repeat those words, but it's written all over their lips as they begin talking. They look into each other's eyes and see the dreams they had dared imagine a month ago still alive inside them. Nothing had ever felt as right as holding each other close, whispering sweet nothings while forgiving and apologizing for the damage it had taken them to get this far.

In a couple of hours, the two will have to take a flight to their next race-stop and the world will begin laying their eyes on them and asking questions. The world will resume to hold a magnifying glass over their every word and move. But as they pull each other close and say I love you like it is the first time their lips have ever spoken those words, Olivia and Lando both know a truth so obvious they don't even have to say it out loud.

The world can wait.

This moment is just theirs.

* * *

raise your hand if you have trouble with goodbyes and closure and were procrastinating posting this chapter because you can't deal with them !

alright, for real now:

Faking It was born two years ago through an absolutely impulsive decision. I'd been so disconnected from writing for years I no longer thought I could write anything that mattered or that made anyone feel anything. I tried keeping in touch with it through small scenes, rhyming lines, and poetry-attempts. It was entertaining, but always kept private and always as an attempt to distract myself from something I was desperately trying to avoid: I was too scared of creating characters because of how much of myself I always end up seeing in them.

Even when I write a character that's my complete opposite, they end up loving the way I do, and fucking things up the way I have. I used to think my mind was too much of a burden for it to be shared with anyone —even if only fictionally. 

And then one day, I was hearing You're In Love by Taylor Swift and the plot for this book flashed in front of my eyes. I spent +10 hours daily for an entire week outlining every chapter, every twist, every character quirk. Once it was done, I wrote the first few chapters and posted them here before I could even process how much of myself had spilled into the plot and characters.

It was impulsive. I told myself I was only doing this to get my writing muscle strong again and try myself out with writing a proper story, and it was half-true. I can now see how it was also a way to finally air out the parts of myself that I struggle so much to accept.

I am terribly harsh with myself at all times, so to write this story and experience myself being empathetic towards Olivia's insatiable, at times naive, compassion; Lando's shielded innocence and his haunted, double-sided cynicism; and Charles' protectiveness fueled by his brain jumping into the worse conclusions, was a key exercise to begin feeling empathy towards myself. 

Not only that, but to see all of you understanding and caring for these characters as fully-fleshed people that fall into old patterns, get blindsided by triggers, admit they don't have the tools for certain situations, and fuck up even with the best intentions, was also a incredibly healing experience towards accepting parts of me I always saw as irredeemable and unforgivable.

I can only hope that, while reading this story, you find a piece of yourself in one of whatever character's faults —which they have loads of—, and inch closer to forgiving yourself for it. More than a romance book, I would say that Faking It is a book about two characters learning and forgiving, mostly themselves. I learned and forgave a lot about myself through writing this. 

As much as I hate goodbyes, it is time to close Olivia and Lando's story. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for loving them and caring for them as much as you have and for the immense support you have all shown me for the last two years. Thank you for making my first ever book such a thrilling, loving experience.

I have a new book coming before the year ends. 

It will also be Formula 1 related... 

But (if you'd let me), I'd like to give it a try with original characters. There's a particular F1 driver in mind that's heavily inspiring the main character, but I'd like to surprise you with someone new to fall in love with...

I can't say how soon I'll begin posting the story because you guys know me,,, I need to have every little thing carefully outlined and a trailer video or else I feel like I'm driving drunk, blind and with my hands tied, lol

BUT, you know me, so I'll tease tf out of all of you once the date approaches...

Once again, thank you for everything.

Much love, 

Julia <3