As A Stranger Or A Friend?

Mariel - 4 Rain's Hand, 1245 A.D.

I sat in my chambers trembling as the many lady's maids and attendants fluttered about me, giving me advice for my marriage bed. Though, I hardly absorbed any of it as a terror unlike any other spread throughout my body. Oxlo had not come, and I had been so at odds with myself about whether I should kill the Third Prince that I had been paralyzed in coming up with another scheme to delay us further. And now here I was, on the eve of my wedding to a man who was more of a monster than anything else.

My eyes fixed themselves on the drawer of my vanity. Just within was a bee, imprisoned in a small glass bottle I had captured from the gardens outside. I had kept it alive by feeding it sugar water that I made discreetly whenever I had tea brought to my chambers. I still had a chance. I just had to release the creature in his quarters while he slept and let it do the rest. But now we were in the city where he might be able to get medical treatment in time to save his life. And if it were discovered that I had been the culprit of the attempted murder, my assured death would come even sooner. Still as terrified as I was now, I had reservations about doing such a thing. It was so vile and wretched, but I wanted to be free. I needed to be!

The maids and attendants all departed, seeming satisfied with the advice they'd given me. The innocent act of shutting the door behind them felt more akin to someone dropping the lid atop my coffin. I remained there, listening to them shuffle down the corridor, followed by the opening and closing of the servant's pathway door and then, nothing. It was quiet, uncomfortably so. I felt like there was something I should do, but I was paralyzed, as if I were looking Death in the face. But if I was going to die anyway, what was the point in delaying that fate? Surely it would be better to face it on my own terms.

I rose to my feet and approached the vanity. I should have been trembling or crying or telling myself that I shouldn't do this, but there was nothing. I was devoid of any sort of rational thought but also of any considerate feeling. I watched as I pulled open the drawer and picked up the small glass bottle. Its occupant buzzed frantically within its prison. I know exactly how you feel but don't worry; it's almost over. Soon we would both rest in a place where the terror we felt now would seem like nothing more than a distant dream. Perhaps we might look upon it fondly as the time when we were capable of such a feeling.

I walked at a slow, numb pace down the dark and empty corridor toward his chambers. And my steps made not a sound as moved through that quiet and eerie space. I was not a large person and wore no shoes nor a great and fancy nightdress that might flutter behind me to create some sound as I went. Was this what a ghost might feel like? It must be. The thought should strike me as sad, but instead, I felt happy. How peaceful it must be to wander the world untouched and unchanged by its horrors. Simply to exist as an onlooker with the freedom to say, 'Better you than me.'

I looked to my right and out the windows that faced the gardens where I captured my weapon of choice. It was dark save for the small fires of faraway lamps, dotting the landscape here and there. They brought me no solace. Instead, they seemed like the winking eyes of beasts, beckoning me to do something wicked to earn the right to join their ranks. And there, in the endless darkness that stretched further than my eyes could see, I would tempt our next comrade alongside them.

And then, I heard a faint sound. A thud? I stopped, struggling to figure out what it might be, but my nervous breaths seemed to overshadow anything that my ears might pick up. I held my breath and just seconds later, there was a loud boom, followed by the sound of splintering wood and shattering glass as everything began to shake. I screamed and fell to my knees, the small bottle in my hand shattering as it hit the ground. As my eyes frantically searched my surroundings for some understanding of what was going on, I saw the bee disappear into the night. Though it mattered little now that it had escaped. Whatever was going on would surely alert the entire palace, effectively ridding me of any chance of success. I heard shouting and frantic armored steps from a source I couldn't pinpoint, followed by panicked screams and the clanging of swords that preluded the recognizable sound of men dying.