Secrets Until Someday

Chapter 43

Brooks  POV

Being in this house feels like a cage after being away for so long but I didn't have much of a choice. The only suit I own is currently upstairs in my closet and I need it to wear for Sydney and Layla's graduation. 

The tension between my dad and I have only grown with the silence to the point that I almost felt strange walking in the house without knocking. My mom wrapped her arms around me when I came into the kitchen but my dad's eyes didn't move from his newspaper. "Brooks, honey, it's so nice to see you." her voice was softer than normal and her eyes didn't meet mine in the way that they once did. 

"Hey mom, how are you?" 

I can tell she is trying to keep things light but there is a shadow over her face telling me a different story, her mask is fading, and putting on the show of having a perfect life and family is beginning to become more difficult when everything is such a mess. "Oh, you know, busy preparing for all of these graduation festivities. You'll be  here this afternoon for your sister's party, right?" 

"Yeah, I'll be here," I say softly as I squeeze her arm. I hate that this is affecting her so much but I'm not giving in this time. There is too much at stake and I refuse to sacrifice Sydney for my dad's ego to win. 

I head up the stairs and fish my navy suit pants, a dress shirt, and tie from the back of my closet. I gather my things quickly because being in the same house as my dad makes me feel like my throat is closing in. I can feel the disappointment radiating off him all the way up the stairs. On my way back down the hall I pop my head into Layla's room, "Hey," I say softly as she turns around from the mirror she was assessing her outfit in. 

"Hey. I'm surprised to see you here," she says.

I look down at the clothes in my hand. "Yeah, I had to grab some stuff for today." 

"Are you riding to graduation with us?" 

"Nah, I'm going to get ready at Sydney's and drive her. So I'll meet you guys there, being here is..." my eyes look down to the floor, "hard." I swallow down the emotions trying to climb up my throat. 

"I get it." her arms wrap around each other as her eyes scan the room. Emotional conversations aren't something my sister and I have ever done so attempting them now isn't the most comfortable. 

"Well, good luck. You may be my annoying little sister but I am proud of you Lay." Using the nickname I had for her when we were kids brings a small smile to her face and redness to her cheeks. 

"Thanks, Brookie." she chuckles and I make my way back down to the inferno of tension. 

"Where are you going?" my mom asks with surprise, " I thought you'd be going to graduation with us."

I force my voice to stay steady when I tell her, "I'm actually driving Sydney. I'll meet you guys there."  

From the table, I hear a scoff followed by something whispered under my father's breath and it sends electricity shooting down my spine igniting a fire in my belly. As much as I hate the distance between myself and the man who I once considered my hero I am no longer going to allow him to push me around or be disrespectful towards Sydney. "Do you have something to say?" My cheeks blaze and I straighten my shoulders. 

My mom shudders knowing the explosion that is about to follow and excuses herself upstairs. 

For the first time in months, my father's eyes meet mine. " I said, of course, you are." the sternness in his voice shakes me to my core but I refuse to let him see me cower. 

"And do you have a problem with that?" a question I already know the answer to but I want to hear the words come from his mouth. 

He stands from the table with force, " You know exactly what problem I have with it. Do you think you are such a grown man that you can come into MY house and disrespect MY wishes without there being any consequences? I told you what would happen if you choose some girl over this family and it seems that you still haven't come to your senses!" he slams his hand on the table. 

My voice rises to his, "She is not SOME girl, she is the love of my life and if you cannot accept that then you are making the choice for me!" 

Every muscle on his body stills and his voice is as cold as ice, "Get out." 

The words sting as they float through the air and penetrate my heart. I let out a breath that was stuck in my throat and spit the words as they fall from my lips. "You're a fucking coward."

"And you'll regret this someday Brooks, mark my words, you'll regret this. You are no longer welcome in this house. Get. Out." his expression was stone and I felt my reserve fading. 

My biggest fear was right here staring me in the eyes, my father was done with me, all over a girl, but not just any girl, she was THE girl and if it was him or her I had to choose between then he was the one I had to lose. I swallowed hard, grabbed my clothes, and closed the door to my family home for the last time. 

Once I got into my truck my head hit the steering wheel and it felt like a piece of me was burning to ash. The look in my father's eyes was something I would never forget, I could only hope that someday he would change his mind, I have to believe it. I wiped the tear falling down my cheek quickly and made my way to Sydney's house.

***

The rest of the day I tried my best to smile and celebrate Sydney but the heaviness was becoming harder to handle. I had briefly told Sydney what had happened with my dad but didn't want to get any further into it until later. Today was her day and I didn't want to spoil it with my family drama if I could even consider them my family anymore. I didn't have any answers and I felt lost. I sat with Sydney's parents at the graduation ceremony and did my best to avoid my father in the crowd. 

The ceremony was simple and sweet, Sydney didn't seem emotional but I could see the excitement radiating off of her, getting out of this town has always been the thing she looked forward to the most so the sentiment that others are feeling is not something I expected her to experience. Freedom looks beautiful on her, but then again anything does. Her eyes catch mine in the crowd and before I can stop myself I'm mouthing an I love you to her, instead of responding she sticks her tongue out and gives me a wink. My cheeks turn red as Pam and Terry look at me with knowing grins. Layla catches our exchange a few seats down from Sydney and rolls her eyes. I laugh as I look at my hands, this girl, never fails to catch me off, guard. 

I navigated the sea of people saying their hellos, and goodbyes and taking photos. Being well-known in a small town has its disadvantages because everyone wants to stop me and ask how college is doing or tell me how great it is to see me. They remind me that they miss seeing me play ball and hope the family is well. It stings every time I lie and say how great everyone is but I know better than to air any dirty laundry to those outside of the Dawson family fortress. I finally find Sydney and her arms fly around my neck. "I'M FREE!" she yells with a laugh and I spin her in a circle. All her friends find their way together and as she, Quinn, Layla, Luke, Sam, and Clay hug each other and stand for a photo I know by the look in Sydney's eyes that she may not miss this school or this town but she is sure going to miss each and every one of them. 

I catch her wiping a tear from her eye and the guys don't fail to blow her shit about it. Layla and Quinn have tears on their cheeks too so they don't say anything, they all lean in for a big group hug. It's a weird place to be witnessing all of this happening with all the things going on with my own family, I feel like a shell unsure of who I am on the inside anymore but I know that every time I catch Sydney's eye the spark that fires within me, reminds me that I may not have a place anywhere else but I know for sure I have one with her. 

AN: Poor Brooks...my heart hurts for him and also my fist would like to punch his father, anybody else??? lol