Secrets Until Someday

Chapter 42

Sydneys POV

We rolled up in front of the lake and house and there were a few cars already there. Clay extended invites to most of the senior class so I figured that the house would be packed within an hour after prom ended. We all had a great time, dinner was good, and the dance was fun but I was dying to take off these shoes and take my hair out of my updo. Brooks was supposed to bring my duffel bag that had a change of clothes so fingers crossed that he is here and can assist me in getting out of this dress. My skin ignites at the thought and my cheeks flush red. We climb out of the limo and onto the porch before we girls rush inside. The air has cooled off and the wind is blowing a cold breeze around us. 

Brooks stood in the kitchen talking to some of the senior guys that were on the basketball team but excused himself as soon as he saw me come into the room. He picked me up into his arms and squeezed me tightly. I returned the gesture and tightened my arms around his neck placing a kiss along his jaw. I missed him and not seeing him since his birthday was way too long to be without being in his arms. The thought of living states away rushed into my mind and made my stomach churn. In response, I held on tighter to him. "Help me out of this dress?" I asked quietly into his ear and I felt his muscles tighten around my body. Without answering he put my feet back on the floor, grabbed my hand and my bag off the bottom of the steps as I followed him upstairs. I heard Luke yell from behind me, "Use protection!" and without turning around I flipped him the bird and increased the pace of my steps. 

Laughter floated up the stairs as Brooks walked into one of the spare bedrooms and I shut the door quickly behind us. Before I could fully turn around his lips were on mine and he was pressing his body into me. My back met the door and I could feel Brooks's excitement pulse into my abdomen. I kissed him back intensely as my hands wandered over his chest, shoulders, and arms. Every time I see him there are more muscles to explore, everything gets harder and more defined. Between kisses, I pant, "You get more built every time I see you." 

His hands move gently over the beads of my dress as his mouth moves down my neck to my heaving chest. "I've had a lot of pent-up energy to work off." My legs clench at his words and I push him backward by the shoulders so that I can turn around. I catch the look in his eyes and it looks hungry like he's been starved and can't wait to devour me. Heat covers my body as his long fingers gently move my hair to the side then slowly down my spine. He places soft kisses along the back of my neck and shoulder as his hand reaches the zipper and moves it down so that my black lace thong is exposed to him. 

I carefully push the thing straps off of my shoulders and the beautiful gown falls to the floor leaving me in nothing but my heels and underwear. I turn to face Brooks and his eyes look like they could set me on fire. "I have never seen anything so sexy in my life," he whispers as I place my hand in the center of his chest and push him back until his knees hit the bed and he sits. The way he looks at me sets something loose inside of me, it makes me feel powerful and loved. Clinging to the confidence pulsing through my veins I reach up and begin slowly pulling the pins from my hair as the long strands begin cascading around my shoulders. I step out of my shoes as he pulls his shirt over his head then unbuttons his jeans and pushes them to the floor. Pulling a condom from his pocket he wraps his arms around me and places me underneath him on the bed before he carelessly places open-mouthed kisses all over making me ache with need. I rub his hardness between us and he lets out a moan, very quickly he puts the condom on, and as our bodies connect it feels like electricity shooting straight into my heart as the pleasure courses through my muscles.

He lifts his body over mine and all I want him to do is crush me with every ounce of him. I pull him closer as he slides gently in and out of me. I want more of him, all of him, all at once my heart and my body are his and I want him to take it all, feel it all and I can't get the words out to tell him what I want so I move my hips faster and in circles as I pull him in for a deep wet kiss. 

As we both push and pull at each other exploring the depths of the pleasure surrounding us he pulls back and I whimper at the distance, but melt the minute his eyes make contact with mine, "I love you, Syd. You're it for me. There's no more someday, it's now, forever." 

There is so much emotion in his voice and ecstasy flowing through my body that a tear crawls out of the corner of my eye as I reach my high, "I love you too Brooks, forever." my voice comes out with such a desperate ache as he lets go and we fall into each other even more than we ever had before.

***

My heart hurts as I count down every day I have to wait before I see Brooks again and it makes me want to commit to Louisville more and more every day. I don't know how I could be that far away from him. "You're it for me," his words that he said to me on Prom night ring in my head and sink into my heart. 

I'll never love someone the way I love Brooks, I know that and I don't think I could go months without seeing him. There is still a part of me that is pulling me to follow my dream but my heart keeps telling me that Brooks is the dream, what we could create together will be more than anything I could have ever imagined. I'm so distracted with the thoughts that I don't even hear the teacher call on me in our Senior English class until  Sam flipped me in the shoulder and I turned around with a look of death on my face that quickly turned into embarrassment as I noticed Mr. Barton's face in the front of the room. 

I know I have a month left before my decision needs to be made but the longer this question dwells in my mind the heavier it gets. Things are finally starting to calm down with tryouts and Prom over, my mom has everything set for my open house, I turned in the last of my scholarships this week and all that's left is to study for finals and wait for graduation to roll around. 

Avoidance is getting harder when my distractions are lessening. I can't keep running from the future when the future is here, and facing reality is not currently my favorite place to be.