Secrets Until Someday

Chapter 20

Brooks' first year of college

    It's been weeks since Brooks left for school. I can tell he's homesick because he's constantly calling or texting me. Almost every night he goes on about all the things his fraternity brothers are making them do and how he's making some friends but nothing like it was in high school. He misses his family and our town. All the things I never expected anyone to say, especially someone like Brooks.

I had envisioned Mr. Popular jumping right in and being the big man on campus just like he was here but I guess that's the difference when your school only has about 60 kids in each class versus 5,000.
    I keep telling him it will get better and eventually it will begin to feel more comfortable. He's anxious for his first trip back which isn't until fall break in October, exactly three weeks away, not that I'm counting or anything.

***
    Sophomore year has been off to such a fun start, our football team is killing it and it makes the season for us so much more fun. Coach has been pushing Quinn and me to take some tumbling classes so that we can work towards cheering in college. 

I never really had thought about it before but it sounds so exciting, especially if Quinn and I could do it together. Sam has started throwing around the idea that they are going to go off to college together but I continue to remind him that I've been her person for a lot longer so I take precedence. That usually doesn't go over well with him.

    Layla is so happy to have her brother out of the house and it's hard for me to play along. My life feels emptier without Brooks here. I miss seeing him and every time I open my locker I secretly pray for a note from him to have snuck in there even though I know it's not possible.
    Maddie has been hanging out with us quite a bit. She works a lot and has hinted at the fact that her parents drink a lot so she has to help take care of her three younger siblings and make her own money so she can do cheer. I feel bad for her, she's such a sweet girl. Simple, naturally pretty, sandy brown hair and freckles all over her face. She's a great cheerleader but you can always tell she carries the worry for her brothers and sister with her every time she's away from them.

    I'm doing my best to enjoy school and cheer but it's hard to keep my mind from wandering to Brooks and what he is doing. 

I spend a lot of time with our group of friends it always makes me uneasy every time one of them tried to hook me up with one of their buddies. I always"attempt" to give it a chance just so that I don't feel like a complete loser but I usually ghost them before they get the wrong idea.

 Luke asked me out on a date once, and I think that was only because he had already dated every other girl in our class and I was the last resort. 

I obviously shut that down super quick. The kid is like my brother. Ew.

    Every day Layla and Maddie sit at lunch eyeing all the boys around the courtyard rating them from hot to not and I laugh along throwing in some input but no one ever compares to the hazel-eyed boy that has gone off to college with my heart.

***

    Three weeks went by a lot quicker than I expected and Brooks was on his way home for fall break. Little did we know his parents would have him so busy the whole time with "family activities" that we wouldn't get the chance to see each other except across the bleachers at Layla's volleyball game that Thursday night. 

Regardless, it was incredible to see him in person. He was still as handsome as ever and of course, all the guys went bananas asking him questions about college life when he came down to the pep block to say hey to everyone. Even though he seemed like normal old Brooks on the outside there was something in his eyes that told me he wasn't as happy as he portrayed. It made me sad to see him that way, forced to fake it. I am a "wear your emotions" on your sleeve kind of girl so I don't do the whole faking it well. Brooks is the master, but I think that comes with very strict and straight-laced parents. Emotions are too messy for people like them.