Then
"You look gorgeous, baby girl."
My mother's lips tug into a wide warm smile that feels like home. She's laying in the bed she's had to make her new home throughout her treatments. Chemo is hitting her hard, as the doctors expected. But there was nothing like seeing a loved one in pain and knowing you can't do a single thing about it.
"Thank you, Mom." I lean down to hug her, sadness washing over me at how frail she feels. I stand back taking her in, and then brush my hands over my flowing light yellow dress. I agreed to go out with Clara and Ryan for the first time in months.
Ever since the cancer diagnosis I've become a shell of myself, not wanting to leave my mother's side. She needs us around her, near her. I don't want her to ever feel alone in what she's going through.
"Have fun tonight okay? Don't be afraid to stay out late, I'll be fine. Your father and I are going to watch a movie." She reaches for my hand and I squeeze her own. "I will, I promise." I shouldn't lie to her but I want her to believe I'm okay.
I'm anything but.
"Also, I know you refuse to go into heavy detail over what happened with you and Mason. But don't be afraid to open your heart again, Delilah. He was a sweet boy and treated you with love and kindness. But there are others out there who would do the same given the chance." I blink back my tears as they pool in my eyes.
"Love is a beautiful thing in the face of this game we call life. Don't lose hope in it." She finishes with a brush of her knuckle on my cheek and I lean down to kiss her forehead. Squeezing my eyes I will the tears to go away.
"I know, Mom." I nod and step back.
"I hoped to see him walk you down the aisle one day. Hoped to see you both travel the world because children aren't something you want, isn't something he wanted. I was so ready to watch my baby girl live." She says with a sad smile and this time when the tears come I don't stop them. I lean down hugging her once more, not knowing how many hugs I have left.
When she rests her head on my shoulder and shudders with soft cries, I hold onto my crumpling mother, forcing my own pieces to keep it together.
Now
"Yellow looks good on you."
Clara spins me around in my yellow dress and for the first time in a while, I feel a bit like a girl young and in love. I felt like that girl who was sitting on the edge of a swimming pool, toes skimming the water falling in head first with no life vest. And I didn't hate the feeling.
"Thank you. Mom loved this one." I swipe my hands over the cotton fabric and gaze at myself in the wall mirror Clara and I are standing in front of. Over the years it's gotten snugger around my hips in my chest as I've gained more weight, but It's the memories that come with it that remind me of beauty. Reminds me of my mother.
"So, if he asks you to try again. To make it official, what are you going to say?" Ryan sits up on my bed, tugging Clara between her legs. My eyes fall to where her arms wrap around her girl, pulling her close. I envy their love and watching them makes me think of a certain person who's wrapped himself up in my life once more.
"I don't know," I answer honestly.
I'd like to say we will get there when we get there, but we are there and he's on his way to pick me up now. After picking me up from work as promised he dropped me off at home to get ready, told me to wear something nice, and that he'd be back in an hour.
YOU ARE READING
I Wish You The Best
Romance"Forever was a simple promise before it became a difficult task" Your first love is always the hardest to let go of, which is why Delilah and Mason had promised each other that after college they'd make it work. Unfortunately for them both, their fo...
