Bitter truth

Chapter 29.

I don't know how or when but I was in Hasan's room. I was sitting on the couch and he sat on his knees near me holding my hands. I was still trembling in fear. My breath was still uneven. I couldn't control anymore and I just started crying while looking down.

"Hey hey relax, everything is fine relax." Hasan said pulling me in his embrace.

I clutched him tightly and was crying mess. I just couldn't control myself. I just hate myself depending on him so much. What if he starts hating me and get fed up with me and my fears. This thoughts made me cry more.

He pulled me more closer as if there was space between us. He was just caressing my back and telling me sweet sweet things. My head was on his shoulder. He was still on the ground sitting on his knees.

After a good 15 minutes I stopped crying as there was no more tears left and I didn't have more energy. Baba's words were countinously roaming in my head. Did maama really got heart attack because of me. Did she suffered because of me.

"Baby, it's alright everything is fine I'm here with you."

"I..I made her suffered."

He broke the hug and looked at me and cupped my cheeks wiping my tears.

"Hasan.. She got heart attack.. because of me. She is not well because of me. Hasan I'm so bad I don't deserve happiness, I..I made her suffer. Hasan I destroyed everything she.. She is on the hospital bed because of me everything happened because of me. I should also get sufferings I don't deserve happiness when she... She is suffering..."

"Fathi it wasn't you. It wasn't your fault none of this is your fault stop blaming yourself for things you didn't do. Everything will be fine and baby she is fine and healthy nothing has happened to her. Trust me Jaan it wasn't your fault."

"But still she suffered because of me."

"Fathi, it was all Allah's will. Jaan,it wasn't your fault. Aziz uncle was upset because of aunty's health so he said that harsh words, I know when he learns the truth he will for sure regret his every word."

"I don't want to tell him."

"It's completely your wish Fatima, no one is forcing you but I know some day they will find the truth and will take back every word."

"But.."

"No buts sweetheart, trust me everything will be fine just calm down and make this heart of yours to calm down as well. It's beating so fast."

I just looked at him. His calm face was really relaxing me. He just have no idea how much he has his effect on me. He makes my every fear vanish in thin air.

"Hasan you will not leave me right?" I asked in a low voice.

"Fathi, what made you think this."

"You will not leave me right? Please don't leave me Hasan, I can't live without you. I'm sorry I'm burdening you and I'm always crying but I'll try hard and control myself please just don't leave me like everyone else please."

He just hugged me tightly. I really needed that, his hugs and gentle touches make me feel calm and relax it just gives me positive energy.

"Fathi, just start trusting me."

"I..I trust you so much."

"Than Jaan why can't you trust me in this. I'll never ever leave you darling. You are my heart, how can I leave my heart. Please don't stress thinking about this. Even if you ask thousands time my answer will be same that I'll never ever leave you and please just don't control your emotions atleast never infront of me."