The Only Thing Stronger Than Hate (Minizerk)

Chapter 2

Joshua had gone out for the rest of the day as soon as he'd told me who he was. I took the quiet time to ponder everything that had just happened.

I couldn't believe it, that he was not only here at this college, but that he was my roommate. Fate could not have dealt me a worse hand if it was trying.

Joshua and I had a long and complicated history, stretching all the way back to middle school. Though, after we started high school, we hadn't spoken once, so I wasn't sure why he still had a problem with me now.

Though, I had pushed a lot of what happened out of my mind. Maybe there was more to it. I'm sure, given the way he was acting now, I'd had my part in this whole thing.

All my life, I'd tried my hardest to be a kind person, especially since during my years at school, the world hadn't been so kind to me.

I now tried my hardest to radiate positive energy and be a source of light for people. To make people laugh, smile, and generally just be whatever they needed.

That's what I'd do for Joshua.

I'd just let go of everything he said earlier and wipe the slate clean in my mind. Whenever he got back, I'd try to give us a do-over.

I'd started reading over the syllabus to get an idea of what my first few lectures were going to be about. I also got a jump-start on the entrance exam. It wasn't really a test, just an essay. I thought I'd use my quiet time to be productive.

It was just a few hours later when Joshua came back.

He completely blanked me this time when he came in, just like he'd said he would. He kept his mouth shut, so I kept quiet, too. I figured he could use a quiet few hours to settle in here. Especially if he wasn't happy about living with me.

Don't get me wrong, I certainly wasn't happy about it either. But I would've been happy to put our history behind us. He clearly wasn't, though. So that was going to make this situation more difficult.

"What are you working on?" He asked awkwardly. I turned around in my chair, and obviously, I couldn't keep the confusion off my face as to why he spoke to me. "Oh, just forget it, I don't know why I bothered."

"No, no, I'm sorry. I just thought you wouldn't want to talk after earlier." I apologised.

"You're right, I don't. Your voice is just as annoying as I remember." He cast a glare at me.

I decided to let that one go and turned back around to keep writing. But one moment later, I decided to make conversation.

"An essay for my entrance exam. I'm taking pyschology." I told him.

"Why psychology?" He asked after a moment of silence had passed.

"Because I'm interested in human behaviour, and why people behave the way they do. How life wires their brains to react differently in different situations." I explained.

"If you dare psycho-analyse me, I will flip my shit." He said firmly, though it was clear it wasn't also malicious.

"Too late for that." I laughed.

"What are you talking about?" He scowled.

"You picked on me in middle school for whatever reason you did, probably because it was normal to you, or you had feelings you had to take out on someone. Though I don't know why you chose me. And now you still don't like me because you feel guilty, but you haven't dealt with whatever it is that made you pick on me. So you can't stop lashing out because you see something in me that is still triggering." I said.

"You know what? You're right. That's why I tried to transfer dorms the second I heard your name because I didn't want to even look at you." He admitted.

"What is it about me?" I asked. I felt like we were finally making some progress.

"No, we're not getting into that. If you want us to get on, that's fine, but that is the one thing that I can not take." His tone hardened.

"Talking has already helped us so far. Why not about this?" I asked.

"Because I'm not ready to open that wound, Simon. Seriously. Drop this." It was clear this wasn't a request. So I stopped pressing on that question.

"Okay, fine, but we're making a deal. If we get on, we don't have to talk about that part of our lives. But if we argue, we need to talk it out in full. I don't care how uncomfortable it is. I'm not living with someone who hates me for reasons I don't understand. So, one more argument, and you're gonna make me understand." I told him.

The silence filled the room as Joshua deliberated quietly.

"Fine, deal." He agreed, albeit begrudgingly.

"So we're friends?" I asked.

"Let's not push it." He grumbled.

"Hey, you're living with me for a whole year, and I wasn't even supposed to have a roommate, but I didn't kick up a fuss about it. We're friends, Joshy." I laughed.

"I fucking hate you." He groaned, but it was clear he wasn't serious.