The Only Thing Stronger Than Hate (Minizerk)

Chapter 7

Josh and I were heading out for dinner that night. We'd decided since today was going well in terms of communication. It was a good idea for us to keep on that streak.

I had a shower beforehand. Just a quick one to freshen up.

I realised I'd forgotten to bring clean clothes with me. I wrapped a towel around my waist and stepped back into our room.

"Sorry, I forgot my clothes." I laughed, picking up the pile off of my bed.

"It's o-okay. We're not rush, in a rush, we're not in a rush, I mean." Josh said quickly.

"You good there?" I laughed.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Absolutely fine." He nodded.

"Okay then." I snickered. "I'll be ready in about ten minutes."

I headed back into the bathroom and changed into a pair of grey joggers and a black hoodie. We were only going somewhere casual, and it was already 7 o'clock. There was no way I wasn't wearing comfy clothes.

I came back out to put my shoes on. Josh's eyes lingered on me for a moment before he cleared his throat, getting his own shoes on.

"You ready to go?" I asked. He nodded quickly.

We got to the diner and waited in the lobby to be seated. Once we were sat, we quickly decided what we'd be ordering before talking about what we needed to.

The waitress brought over our drinks, and after that, we decided it was time to talk things out.

"We should probably start at the beginning with high school." He said.

"No, that wasn't the beginning. Middle school. Why did you bully me?" I asked.

"Simon..."

"No, I don't care, Josh. I have no hard feelings about it. I just want to know why." I told him.

"That's really embarrassing for me. I don't want to get into that." He said.

"That's why we're here. To get the difficult shit out, it never comes up again after that." I said.

"Alright, fine. Do you want to know why?" He sighed. "I had a crush on you."

"Wait, what?" I grinned, amused.

"Simon, it's not funny. I wasn't trying to bully you. Just get your attention." He admitted, practically through gritted teeth.

"But you ignored me in high school, why's that?" I asked.

"Because I realised what liking a guy meant. So I decided I wanted nothing to do with you." He said.

"Okay, that's fair. I've made you answer some questions, and I'll answer some of yours now." I smiled.

I thought it was a good idea if I was vulnerable with him too, so he didn't feel like he was on the spot.

"What happened in high school? When you came out?" He asked.

"I only came out to a few friends on the team. I guess some people overheard or whatever, but either way, word got out. People started complaining about me being team captain, saying it made us look bad, weak, etcetera. The worst thing people said is they didn't want to be in a changing room with me anymore." I told him.

"Oh my god, those assholes." Josh said in shock.

"I got jumped about a month later, not by anyone on the team, besides the locker room thing, they were almost all fine with it. One of my ribs got fractured, and they broke my nose. I stayed off school while I was healing and used makeup to cover it when there were only bruises left. Nobody ever knew." I said.

"I'm so sorry you had to hide that." He said sincerely, brows furrowing.

Our food arrived, so we started eating, pausing occasionally to resume our conversation.

"It's your turn to talk again now. What's going on with your parents?" I asked.

"Fuck, okay. I'll talk about it." He sighed, taking a sip of his drink. "I came out to them on the day I left for here because I wasn't sure how they'd react. I figured if they had a problem with it, it'd be fine because I don't live with them anymore."

"What did they do?" I asked worriedly.

"They said some awful things, things I can't stop thinking about. It's also been made perfectly clear that the only time I'm allowed to go back there is when it's to collect the rest of my things." He sighed.

"I'm really sorry." I said softly.

"The thing is, it made me really hate my sexuality for a little while. And I thought nobody had given you a hard time over yours. So when I realised I'd be living with the guy who made me realise I am what I hate myself for being, and he just does it so happily, I processed that horribly." He said.

"Josh, I completely understand. But you know now, we've both gone through stuff. Different stuff, but it shouldn't be something that does anything other than bring us closer." I told him.

"I know, I know." He nodded, looking down.

"I have one more question for you. Why did you get so uncomfortable the other day when I told you I'd been on a date?" I asked. Josh's eyes widened.

"I draw the line at that one." He said.

"Okay, I said I'd respect if you were done talking for today. So we're done talking, okay?" I promised.

"Okay, thank you." He let out a breath he'd been holding in.