guilt and apologies

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Hey sweetie's I hope you liked the last chapter. Anyway's enjoy this one and please leave comments they make me all giddy and shit!
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~peters pov~

Shit, shit, shit. I know I messed up I didn't mean to get upset, he was just so blunt with not wanting to be here like we where bad people or something. He looked so frightened when I started yelling, I shouldn't of said those things we where told that he was sensitive and that if we couldn't make this work he would be put back into the system and yet in a fit of rage I could of fucked everything up for that poor kid. I know I need to apologise and know I'm going to be in a load of shit.

"Peter what the fuck is wrong with you?" Harry asked as Dylan left the kitchen to go upstairs to Matt apparently Asher had caged himself in his room.

"I know I fucked up. I'm sorry" I apologised to the boys and looked away feeling guilty about everything I've done.

"Yeah well, don't apologise to us, you need to -" Harry cut himself off when we heard yelling from upstairs. We could only hear some things but we did here them bring up Ethan's addiction, in response I walked over to him and put my hands over his ears. We know that even the mention of drugs can set him back. Once the yelling was over we heard a couple of bangs then nothing, uncovering Ethan's ears and passing him to Harry I started to walk out of the room.

"Where do you think you are going?" Harry asked a little harshly, making me turn to face the boys.

"Where do you think you dickhead, I'm going to check on them and see if everything is ok!" I responded almost as harshly, then turning back around i continued to walk out of the room. Making my way up the stairs I planned what I would say to Asher, nothing I could think of would make up for what I said, I know I was out of line and probably broke his heart by bringing his adoptive parents into this. When I finally reach the door to his room I knock lightly as to not scare him, although instead of earning a response Dylan exists the room.

"Why are you up here Peter. Don't you think you should be downstairs waiting for your pending punishment" Dylan half asked half told. He didn't look happy with me at all which was reasonable with what I have started.

"I just wanted to check on y'all, we could hear yelling and then banging then like nothing. I was just concerned I guess" I mumbled out, guilt obviously evident on my face.

"Shit did Ethan here the part about drugs? Is he ok?" Dylan stressed out, his eyes scanning my face and softening slightly when he saw the tears brimming in my eyes.
"Oh bubs don't cry please, we all make mistakes, it's ok" Dylan softly says while pulling me into a hug, attempted to calm me down as they know I try to hide my sad emotions.

"I'm fine, I just god I feel so stupid. I know not to blow up like that. I'm so so sorry sir" I mumbled into his chest. "I covered Ethan's ears, and Harry is staying with him to make sure he is ok, is Asher ok? I really didn't mean to mess up like that" I asked and explained, my words rushing out and jumbling together with the speed I was talking worry taking over again.

"It's ok Bub, thank you for looking after Ethan. Asher is ok he's sleeping currently he practically cried himself to sleep in Matt's arms, but Matt's got him. And I know you didn't, you can't help it sometimes we understand this, but you are still in deep trouble Hun" Dylan answers my jumbled sentences and questions. Before he pulled me away from his chest seeing as I was no longer tearing up.

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