Give Me Your Forever (Freenbeck Fanfic)

Chapter 8: She Was My Everything

                  ***Becky's POV***

Hiro drove me home and left immediately. He said he really liked the place and wants to visit more places like that, which I find amusing. He continues to act even when the cameras are off. He's simply unbelievable.

I walked upstairs to my room and locked the door as soon as I entered. Irene's words kept running through my mind incessantly.

Suddenly, a heaviness weighed on my heart, so I tried to calm down by taking a few deep breaths. I've been pretending not to think about Freen. I've been trying to ignore the fact that she's always on my mind, not because I want to, but because I have to. I don't want her to be hurt, so I have to stop loving her. I've already caused her so much pain. This is the least I can do for her.

I went to my desk and turned on my laptop. I'm currently signed in to my old iCloud account, the one I only recently remembered. Though recovering it was a challenge, it was all worth it. It provided clarity to all the questions my parents refused to answer. I knew I had forgotten something so dear to me because of that accident.

Now, memories are slowly coming back. It feels bittersweet, to be honest. Right now, I feel like I no longer have the right to love her. I am ashamed of myself. I'm ashamed of the fact that I was the reason Freen almost lost her life, and not only that, she also lost many of her memories. Now I remember the truth: she has fallen out of love from me. Why is fate playing this game? Why do I have to meet her again after years of being okay? Why do I have to fall in love with the same person without my knowledge?

I don't think I remember everything yet because as I scroll through the photos saved on my iCloud account, there are still some pictures that I can't recall. All I know so far is that we were together for a short while; I don't know exactly how long. It was a secret relationship and it happened before Marcus and I entered a relationship. The day we had the accident was the same day she asked to break up with me. I didn't want to. I remember her crying while saying she doesn't love me anymore, as if it's easy to unlove someone. She didn't give me any more reasons. I was angry when I heard her reason, so I accelerated the gas in a fit of rage. At that moment, I wondered what was wrong with me. Why wasn't I enough? Why did she suddenly fall out of love? I treated her right, and I loved her with all my heart, but why would she hurt me like this?

From what I remember, it was a secret relationship that only Freen, a few friends, and I knew about. Even Freen's mom was aware, but she didn't exactly approve or disapprove. I was okay with that because as long as I had Freen, nothing else mattered. She was my whole world.

Her words of "I don't love you anymore" kept echoing in my head, drowning out her shouts. She begged me to slow down and talk things through, but I couldn't listen. At that moment, my world was already falling apart. I felt like I had nothing left to lose. Freen meant everything to me, and it hurt so much that even after all these years, she still does. It didn't take long before I crashed into another car, and for years it was the end of our love.

I had hoped it was the end of our love. The physical wounds from the accident eventually healed, but the pain of our past love still remains. Sometimes, I wish those memories would've just stayed in the shadows, where I can't find them, along with all the love I had for Freen. But somehow, that love and pain managed to find their way back to me.

I want to love her over and over again. But what if she remembers everything? What if she remembers what I did and hates me for it? How long will it take for her to stop loving me again? Maybe it's true that eventually, everyone ends up hurting you, because Freen did, no matter how many times we said "I love you" or showed our love in different ways. Eventually, everyone leaves. Eventually, we'll choose ourselves over the people we love.