Maria whistled the tune of one of Verosika Mayday's songs to herself as she walked to her new apartment, twirling the ring of her keys on one finger, her monthly stipend heavy in her pocket. Hiruzen had given her everything she had asked for and then some, at least in the money department. She knew she had been given way more than a normal 'orphan immigrant'.
'The perks of people wanting you to keep your mouth shut.', she thought with a chuckle, before being left blinking in shock when a yellow and orange blur shot past her, cackling like a mad man. Two Chunin chased after him, shouting all the while.
"Get your scrawny ass back here, Naruto!", one of the Chunin shouted.
"You've really crossed the line this time!", the other one yelled. Maria looked up at the anime equivalent of Mt. Rushmore, and started sputtering with laughter when she saw what had been painted on it.
There were several artistically placed red swirls, but other than that, there were hilariously placed sentences written on the Hokage faces. Including, but not limited to; a 'bow to me peasants' on Hashirama's forehead, a 'you all suck' on Tobirama's cheek, and a 'f u' on Minato's chin. Maria had the feeling that if the culprit's father could see this, he would be more amused than anything. The pink haired girl doubled over with laughter.
"O-oh fuck, that is ballsy. What I wouldn't give to meet the bastard brave enough to pull that!", she declared just loud enough for anyone on the mostly deserted street to hear. The sound of a sheet dropping could be heard. Maria smirked.
'Hook, line and sinker.'
"Really?! You think it's cool?!", the voice of a thirteen year old boy yelled as he dashed over to her. He was just as he had appeared in the anime; spiky blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and three whisker marks on each cheek. Maria grinned at him with her sharp teeth, causing the boy to jump a bit as she leaned down close to him.
"Fuck yeah it was. Anyone who's got the guts to pull shit like that is a-ok in my book. What's your name, kid?", she asked. Naruto gulped. This lady was intimidating, but she was interested in talking to him. Almost no one wanted to talk to him willingly. Naruto gave her a wide grin.
"The name's Naruto Uzumaki, believe it!", he said enthusiastically. Maria stood up straight with her hands on her hips.
"Is that so? Well, my name's Maria di Angelo, kid.", she greeted. Naruto blinked at her and then turned red when he realized she had called him 'kid'.
"Hey, I ain't no kid! I'm a badass ninja of the Hidden Leaf Village, believe it!", he yelled. Maria looked him up and down and raised an eyebrow.
"Ninja, you say? Well, I don't see no headband. Try saying that again when you got the proof to back you up, kid.", the pink haired woman sassed, putting extra emphasis on the 'kid'. Naruto turned even redder.
"I-you... ", he sputtered, and Maria decided to save him the embarrassment by cutting him off.
"Say kid, since you're such a 'badass ninja', why don't you take me to the academy?", she asked him. Naruto blinked up at her.
"Why would you need to go to the academy?", he asked. Maria gave him a grin that screamed trouble.
"You'll see when we get there."
—---------------------------------------------------
Iruka sighed and mumbled curses under his breath as he prepared his lesson for the day. Everyone was in their usual seats... except for Naruto. It had taken one look out his window to figure out just what the blonde had been up to that morning, and the second he got the chance, he was going to drag that little brat back to class by his ear-
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Murder, Talk no Jutsu and Other Easy Solutions
FanfictionMaria di Angelo just wanted to make a name as an assassin. Instead, she girlbossed a bit too hard and ended up halfway to fuck knows where. Okay, that was a lie. She was in Naruto, and while she was... mildly upset about being dragged away from her...
