Murder, Talk no Jutsu and Other Easy Solutions

A Thief in the Night! What the Hell is this Soap Opera Bullshit?!

"We've been standing in here for three hours, what the hell is taking the thief so long?", Sasuke grumbled, his eye twitching in annoyance.

He, Maria, Naruto and Sai had been standing in the scroll room of Hokage mansion for quite a while, waiting for the thief to show up. They had no idea how they had managed to stay undetected by any night guards for three hours, and chalked it up to lack of effort on the part of whoever was supposed to be guarding the place. Currently, Maria and the boys were standing in front of the fake scroll, pretending to guard it when in reality, the real one was in her bag.

"I don't know, maybe he stopped for a ramen break?", Naruto speculated. Sasuke rolled his eyes at his blonde friend.

"That excuse is only valid for you, Naruto.", the black eyed boy said sarcastically. Naruto scowled at him.

"No it's not, because ramen's delicious!", he protested. Sasuke sighed.

"Just because ramen's delicious to you doesn't mean it's delicious to everyone else- "

"Oh really?! Well I- !"

And then the two's conversation devolved into petty bickering. Eventually they ended up wrestling on the floor for no apparent reason, and Sai was left staring at them in confusion.

"Maria-sama, is this normal behavior for friends?", he inquired with the pink haired woman beside him, who was remaining vigilant throughout everything. She sighed and shook her head.

"No Sai, this is not normal behavior for friends. This is, however, normal behavior for Naruto and Sasuke. You'll get used to it eventually.", Maria told him. Sai nodded.

""Yes, Maria-sama.", he said. Naruto and Sasuke eventually rolled in front of Maria, and she stopped them with her foot like they were a soccer ball. She frowned down at them, hands on her hips. The boys stopped wriggling and began to look sheepish.

"Really guys? See, this is why I didn't want to bring you. I take you on what's basically your first mission, and this shit happens.", Maria scolded. Both boys stood up and narrowed their eyes at her.

"Well what did you expect?! It's been three hours, we're bored~!", Naruto groaned, his ADHD-having ass complained, already tired of having to stand around and do nothing. Maria narrowed her eyes at him.

"Well you should have thought of that when I told you this was going to be a partial stakeout. See, this is why I didn't want you to come. You guys get bored easily and then get into some shit so you won't be bored anymore. I should have expected this from your preteen asses.", Maria complained, pinching the bridge of her nose. Naruto glared at her.

"Then why did Sai get invited without having to ask?!", Naruto complained, not unlike a young child asking why their older sibling got go somewhere they didn't, while pointing at poor Sai, who was peacefully drawing and minding his own business a ways away. Maria's hands returned to her hips, a dry look on her face.

"Because Sai's an ex-ROOT operative who knows what he's getting himself into. You're both rookie Genin who haven't even had that title for more than a day. You both have a lot of potential, but Sai's on a different level right now. Sorry, but it's the truth.", Maria told them bluntly. Naruto and Sasuke both deflated, and her expression softened when she saw she had made them sad.

"Look, it's not like I think you guys are weak but-GET DOWN!", Maria started to say, only to gasp and yell as loud as she could when she saw a windmill shuriken heading straight for her.

She pushed Naruto and Sasuke down to the ground by their heads, and listened anxiously as the shuriken flew overhead and embedded itself into the wall behind them. Maria glared at their attacker. She couldn't see their face, as it was covered by a no doubt stolen ANBU mask. Growling, Maria jumped to her feet and pulled out a kunai.