Kakashi woke up the morning of the bell test with a looming sense of dread. It was the kind of feeling he got when he knew something bad was going to happen, like when he got assigned Suna escort missions in the dead of summer. The feeling was heavy in the pit of his stomach, and he had the overwhelming urge to stay in bed.
But the bell test had to be administered, if not because it was required of him, because he wanted to make the gremlins suffer for what they did to him. It took hours to scrub off all the paint and glitter, excluding the time he spent plucking the feathers off. He wanted payback, so he pulled himself out of bed three hours late, and took his sweet time getting ready. By the time he appeared at the training grounds, it was nine am. Kakashi put his hands on his hips and fake smiled at the group of Genin and the single Chunin sitting on the ground.
"Good morning, you little monsters! Ready to start your-wait, is that a panini press?", Kakashi started to greet, only to be left blinking in confusion as he pointed to the appliance the five people were sitting in a circle around. Maria nodded and opened the press, serving a panini to Naruto.
"Yep. We got hungry waiting for you, so we went home and brought this here so we could make food.", she answered. Kakashi glared down at her. How could someone so pretty be so... this way?
"I told you not to eat breakfast.", he stated. He didn't bother accusing her of anything. Deep down, he knew no one would listen to him. Maria nodded and started making another panini.
"Yeah, you did, but we don't give a fuck. We also ate a big breakfast before we even came to the training grounds. This is more of a pretest snack. We'd offer you some, but you were late again, so you don't get shit.", the pink haired woman said as she opened the press again, this time serving the panini within to Sai. Kakashi's eye twitched, but he didn't comment. He wasn't getting covered in paint, so he wouldn't complain.
"Put the panini press away, I'm about to explain the test.", he requested with all the politeness he was capable of forcing. Maria looked up at him blankly.
"No.", she responded simply. Kakashi sighed, but once more didn't complain. He kept telling himself he was choosing his battles. Maybe if he kept thinking it, it would become a reality.
"Fair enough. The test is very simple; all you have to do is grab my bells.", Kakashi said as he held up four silver bells. Everyone just stared at him.
"That feels... inappropriate.", Sai said slowly. Kakashi was confused about what he meant for second, but once he realized what he was talking about he sighed again.
"Bells, Sai. Bells.", he said as he jingled the bells lightly. Sai's mouth formed an 'o' and he nodded.
"Oh... ", he said slowly. Kakashi wanted to scream.
"First four people to grab a bell pass.", the white haired man continued. Naruto blinked, feigning ignorance about the test, partly to not raise suspicion about his team's plans, and partly just to fuck with his teacher.
"What happens to the person who doesn't grab a bell?", the blonde asked. Kakashi gave him a tired look.
"Bad stuff.", he said calmly. Sasuke raised an eyebrow.
"Like what?", the Uchiha questioned. Kakashi's gaze became intense.
"Bad. Stuff.", the Jonin repeated much more slowly. Everyone just stared at him. Mizuki frowned at him.
"But that's not fair, Kakashi. With there only being four bells, one of us will always lose.", the young Chunin observed, joining in on the 'cuck Kakashi into thinking we don't know shit' game. Kakashi glanced at him.
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Murder, Talk no Jutsu and Other Easy Solutions
FanfictionMaria di Angelo just wanted to make a name as an assassin. Instead, she girlbossed a bit too hard and ended up halfway to fuck knows where. Okay, that was a lie. She was in Naruto, and while she was... mildly upset about being dragged away from her...
